I don't pretend to be who/what I'm not. I will be honest here unless I publish under the category "This could be news," which is 99% fiction and a wee bit sarcastic. ;-) I want readers who come here to have as much fun as I do. Not all subjects can be fun, but most can be funny if I do my job right ;-)
My inner child is reflected in my logo and will change at a moment's notice.
Giggles & Bits are not happening this Thursday. A long story that I’m too tired to explain it all, but suffice it to say: The Quilt Faire is next week.
This afternoon, I was looking through photos to find one for an upcoming class, and I saw it! The photo that makes me smile each time I see it, because it’s of me with my 3-year old granddaughter making Christmas cookies. Mixing stuff and breaking eggs were her favorite things, until it was time to use the cookie cutters. Half of our fun was getting to wear our matching aprons, and watching each other to make sure the other one was not sneaking nibbles of dough.
And don’t forget the VHS tape with all the good Christmas Specials – watching them while decorating cookies became a tradition that began in the 80’s. I recorded the tape while making Christmas cookies with my daughter. She and I love it even more now, as we watch her girls enjoy it. They can’t understand why we laugh so hard when the commercials come on. 80’s commercials are really bizarre!
Both of us have grown since the day this photo was taken. She is now in Middle School and does not think every boy has cooties. Despite what her dad tells her.
I am retired now, and writing this blog, making quilts and trying to finish my novel.
(Hubby did something this month that completely shocked and delighted me! It has been a very long while since this gal has been delighted. I felt like a little girl.
I feel like a new bride because I keep admiring my engagement/wedding ring every couple minutes. It’s so shiny and gorgeous again. It had been broken, dull & diamond-less since 2011 when a prong came loose and the diamond fell out. It happened quietly and I did not know exactly when it happened. It most likely broke at work. Despite my co-workers, the building custodian, and myself crawling around with flashlights like CSI’s, I never saw it again. Until yesterday.
The FedEx guy, Mike, brought hubby a package. Hubby handed it to me and said, “Happy Anniversary”. I had no clue what could be in there, but I was so excited. He was giving me an anniversary present! I can’t remember the last year he did that! In fact, I had not found a gift for him before we were evacuated (the Butte Fire was heading our way), and frankly, I forgot about it.
So, here is this FedEx box, for me, from him. I did not open it immediately. I wanted to savor the moment of having a gift to open. To those who have a spouse that does not express themselves on special occasions (Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries, your birthday…) you know what I’m talking about. To those who are lavished with gifts and attention – never take it for granted!
Okay – now I’m ready to open the box…
FedEx Package
Another FedEx Box!
Inside, was another FedEx box, also completely sealed.
How strange. Guess what I found in the second FedEx box? No, not another box. It was a UPS padded envelope.
This is getting silly
What on earth could be next? After a failed attempt to pull open the envelope, my scissors did the job.
Now, we were getting somewhere! A white, unmarked, little box. I suspected jewelry.
I was not wrong about that – inside was a little reddish velvet ring box.
OMG!
When I peeked inside I saw my wedding ring set, shining like it was my wedding day. Hubby laughed when I asked him to put it on my finger, but I could tell he was proud of himself. The ring would still fit me perfectly, if I could just push it past my knuckle.
I always have had big knuckles on my small fingers and a bit of lotion or soap did the trick. Not today. Since the ring had broken, my arthritis had worsened. My knuckles were larger now. NO!
There was a way to get my ring on and I was going to find it. I iced my knuckle, hoping it would help, greased up my finger, and pushed with all my might. This effort was amusing hubby greatly. I told him I could not get it re-sized to fit my knuckle, the ring would be too loose and constantly spin.
Then I got an idea. You people who know me – stop laughing! It was a great idea, and it worked. What helps with getting something large through something small? OH!
Astro Glide. It still was tough on my knuckle, but I had my wedding ring back! It was 27-years after hubby first put it on my finger. My hands look a lot different now, as does the rest of me (and hubby). Our marriage is also different after 27-years. It is stronger and better, the older it gets. In another post, on another day, I will tell you my theory on why that happens.
It all started when I took Ziva for a walk this morning. Actually, it was a case of her dragging me down the street. Crap! I said to myself, we need to start all over! She and I were making good progress before I had dental work and was out of commission. Now she just wants to run and sniff everything. She refuses to focus on me and insists on doing her own route. It took every ounce of strength I have to keep my feet under me.
I needed to put an end to her misbehavior ASAP. It was time to whip out my secret weapon that makes even the most ADHD afflicted puppy focus and do what they are supposed to do.
Liver Treats.
These little goodies are super easy to create. You put only 4 ingredients into your food processor, blend well, and spread into a greased cookie sheet and bake @ 400F for 15 minutes. Piece of cake? Of course not – we are talking about me, remember?
First of all, a pound of chicken livers – frozen, needed to be thawed. While the container sat in lukewarm water I prepared the other ingredients, assembled my food processor, worked on a crochet project. Hubby was working with the Sheriff’s Dept all day, but it was afternoon and I was in a hurry. Hot water worked much faster.
I forgot there was so much blood in livers. I knew if I poured the little blood-sacks out of the round container, into my processor, blood would spill out and splatter the counter & myself. So I got a big fork and stabbed and shook the livers off the fork , well inside of the processor’s vessel. I felt so proud for not making a mess!
At this point I thought the worst was over. HA! What an idiot I can be. The recipe was easy, but the gross factor was over-the-top. Imagine livers, blood, flour, corn meal, and milk, in a blender. Yuck, is right. When I thought everything was mixed well, I got a spatula and began pouring the “batter” into the greased cookie sheet.
The bloody mess did not pour. It was so sticky that I ended up putting on disposable plastic gloves to scrape it off the sides and spindle of the processor, clean off the useless spatula, and smash the stuff into the pan using my palms. It was not pretty.
Looks Like Crap and Smells Worse
After (very carefully) removing the gloves outside in, I put the pan into the pre-heated oven and set the timer. Now I could get off my feet for 15 minutes and rest, I so stupidly thought.
After 7 minutes into the bake cycle had passed, a hideous odor began to take over the household air. Oh man! I jumped up out of my recliner and turned the fan over the stove on the 2nd level. The first level is all we use because it is loud, but not like an airplane engine that #2 setting sounds like. Level #3, if you’re interested, has been likened to the Space Shuttle launches.
The noise woke up the puppy, and you could read her expression as it went from “Oh, what is that scary noise?” to “WHAT IS THAT WONDERFUL SMELL??” She bounced all over the kitchen with her snout high in the air, taking deep breaths and drooling.
I was going from room to room, opening windows and turning on ceiling fans. Going out to the garage for something, then re-entering the house, was like walking into a wall of crap. Skunks all over the county were jealous of this heavy and cloying stench emitting from my kitchen.
Then I remembered the Christmas presents I got last year. At the time I thought “how will I ever use up all these huge scented candles?” I now knew the answer. As I lit a candle I would put it somewhere in the kitchen and family room area. Now puppy had a mix of candle scents and liver to sniff and don’t forget the airplane engine over the stove. Both of us were nearing our breaking points when I turned off the oven and switched the fan to level #1.
#1 was only on for the 20 seconds it took for me to open oven, remove pan, and sit pan on stove, close oven door. #2 fan was reinstated, as lessened smell became my top priority – replacing quiet. Puppy was not happy about this, but she braved the scary noise for her priority – LIVER. She ran circles in the family room, then suddenly stopped, running into the kitchen to circle me, whining, then run back to the couch and start over again. I was torturing my poor baby!
Again, I mistakenly thought the worst was over.
Recipe said to let “it” cool, then cut into small squares.
CUT? With what, a jackhammer!? I had to resort to a butter knife and attack from underneath to get only the top layer.
The knife and the spatula I used are permanently bent. The “treats” were in no way squares, they reminded me of wood-chips – except for the smell. At least the cooler they got, the less they smelled.
An hour later, which made a 2-hour adventure so far, I called time. I was done. I wanted to throw the ‘livered’ cookie sheet away, but I’m just too practical for that, so I scrubbed and soaked every 10 minutes. The extra soapy dish water, if you are wondering, made the stench return. I know I have new wrinkles from scrunching my face up.
Hubby got home an hour later and asked me if Ziva and I had a séance while he was gone. Candles were still all over the house.
I could not wait to try the treats on our walk this morning. I’m sad to report that even these tried and true treats (that worked well with our former puppy) did not focus Ziva’s attention at all. We did not even make it out of the driveway pleasantly, and she knew I had LIVER!
So, here we come in the front door – Ziva’s is happily wagging her tail and greets hubby. I am in the midst of an asthma attack (forgot to use inhaler before we left) and tears are streaming down my face. ” I can’t even take my dog for a walk,” I whined. “We both need the exercise. This is supposed to be fun, but it’s NOT!”
Later that afternoon when hubby returned from running errands, he handed me a chain linked ‘pinch’ collar.
“It’s time.” he said. I nodded my head in agreement. Ziva will turn 1-years old on Sunday, and she was not behaving any better. It was time for some tough love around here.
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