I Feel a New Series Coming On…

~ JodiLea ~ Leave a comment

Just when my life is getting back to normal, well, normal-er, I am thrown into a new adventure. What helps me deal with changes is to talk (vent?) about them.

You, dear readers, get to come along for the ride. Although this adventure is not traveling to foreign lands, I think you will find it interesting and educational. I know I will.

When Medicare stopped covering my insulin pump, I reverted back to the Stone Age and injected insulin myself. My doctor had to retrain me about the diabetes math (calculations made to determine dosage). My pump did the math for me, among other things.

I did not get a new pump because my former one did everything via Bluetooth, and I did not have to have infusion sets and tubing to bother with. I was spoiled. Fast forward 2 years of unstable blood glucose, and I have chronic kidney disease to show for it. My doctor said I had to go on a pump system again before more complications emerged. I am not happy about this development.
I have enough to do without training to use inconvenient new equipment. [grumble, grouse, and grumble again]

This is the difference between the two technologies:

Former Pump
Bionic Pancreas and Supplies

In my view, Medicare should pay for the simpler solution. That is already working for the patient. However, in the world of medicine, the patient is rarely right, or even considered. But I am veering off topic.

This blog is not to rant to you about Medicare! It is about me sharing my journey with y’all in an effort to get over my depression and look at things from your perspective. What I think is your perspective. I am assuming you are not a Type I diabetic. If you are, you may want to follow along anyway.

This adventure began a couple of weeks ago, when two large boxes arrived on my doorstep. I had to sign for them. They were shipped out by a company called “Reliable”.
The shipping documents showed they were supplies from Beta Bionics. This week, a little black box arrived, only labeled in white letters: ‘iLet Bionic Pancreas.’

This disturbed me.

It sure did not look impressive. The box was smaller than a bread box.

That’s all I have for now. I have to arrange training on the device and schedule it for November.

TTFN

Get Your Grump On

~ JodiLea ~ Leave a comment

Some days, no matter what you do, are frustrating, maddening, and emotional.
Everything in your life is falling apart, and you just can’t take it anymore. You want to hide in your room and not deal with anything. You want to give up the fight. You keep running into that brick wall, and the only dents you make are on yourself.

You are told, “Snap out of it!” “Go back to bed and get up on the right side.” “Suck it up.” “Get over yourself.” Oh, and my personal favorite (not), “Call a Whaaambulance.”

Obviously, ranting to others does nothing to help you. I used to think that “getting it off your chest” helped you mentally. It does. But only if you rant to yourself. YOU are the only one you can trust to know exactly what you mean, not be judgmental, or get offended. I keep two journals. One is my everyday diary and prayer book. The other one? That is my black book of rants, resentments, and evil thoughts.

What!?! You have evil thoughts?
Oh, you bet I do.

I came across my black book two days ago while cleaning out my dresser. I decided not to read any of it at the time. Very few people know about the black book, and none have ever seen or heard its contents. In fact, I try not to read past entries myself. Why go through it again? I need to expel the current demons and return the black book to its shelf when I finish, so it can be taken from its place when needed. Usually, months go by without even thinking about the black book. In very bad times, the book is not reshelved for days.

I have not written anything new for years. Not that my life is perfect. I keep the book because knowing it’s there, ready to listen, helps me cope. I have hundreds of journals, diaries, and prayer books. I do not have any other black books. One seems to be enough. If you struggle with resentments or can’t let go of bad feelings, you should try this method. For me, it allows me to think/say exactly how I feel about whatever or whoever. I can be as vicious and nasty as I need to be with my black book. If I were venting to a friend, I could not be as free to let it all out. I would edit myself. Pull punches, hold back.

Today, after attending my quilt guild’s meeting, I realized that I need to check out that little black book. The deadline for show entries is next week, and I am already being bombarded with special requests. I love my fellow quilters. So I want to be diplomatic when I tell them that they are not special enough to change the rules for. The only way I can be kind and patient is to yell at them in the book and get it out of my system. Page after page of rants and evil thoughts will be written. That, and the subconscious growling.

TTFN

Oh NO! Again?

~ JodiLea ~ Leave a comment

I knew it was too good to last. As soon as the weather turned slightly warm, the utility company sent trucks to invade our neighborhood. These trucks had large equipment and assorted other machines that I did not recognize. Five (possibly more) crews of road workers have claimed the streets that I use to get to town.

The normal orange signs are posted:

This sign is new. They are posted on every street, multiple times. There is usually a crew for trenching, and one of them serves as a flagman. They are very casual about the major disturbance they are causing.

I was at a stop sign, wanting to turn left. My signal was on, so he would know what I wanted to do. After a few minutes, he waved me on, indicating I could turn left.

As I turned the corner and saw the road’s condition, I looked over at the guy. He nodded his head yes and waved me on impatiently. I just knew that this was a mistake!
Only half the road was available due to the massive machines lined up on the left. The road that I was supposed to drive on had a trench, and to the right of that was a pile of asphalt. My little Subaru was going to get dirty and possibly stuck.

I know that I had a wincing look on my face. I had to negotiate the road by driving split. The left tires rode inside the trench. The right tires flattened piles of asphalt. My car jumped and bucked like a rodeo bull. Had I not been driving, I would have been car-sick. Why people like off-roading, I will never understand.

All this roadwork is giving me flashbacks of last summer. Plenty of trenches were dug, but they blocked the road or put metal plates over them. Those trenches were 4 feet deep. And yet, no signs warned us back then.

Last week, I was a prisoner in my own home. I woke up to the sound of asphalt being scraped up and spewed into the back of a truck. This is not the sound one expects to hear when living in the forest.

The view is taken from my front porch. The noise is muted for the reader’s sake.

The following afternoon, another crew showed up and paved over the entire cul-de-sac and partway down the road. When we built our house and moved in the Summer of 2012, the road was falling apart. Fourteen years later, it is finally smooth and new.

I am expecting an Earthquake or a tornado any day now.

TTFN