Never Choke in a Restaurant in the South!



Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich,  begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says,
‘Kin ya swallar?’

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, ‘Kin ya breathe?’

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, ‘Ya know, I’d heerd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I ain’t niver seed nobody do it!’

Now, that’s funny!

Story courtesy of Aunt Carmen 😉

This Could Be News..

David Returns Home

Michelangelo's David

After a two-year loan to the United States, Michelangelo’s David is being returned to Italy.

Michelangelo's David

His Proud Sponsors were:

Dunkin’ Donuts              McDonald’s               Round Table

Announcing – This Could Be News

Surrounded By News

Everyday we are surrounded with “News”. Morning News, Noon News, Evening News, the 11 o’clock News. And that’s only network television. There are cable channels devoted to 24/7 News. If you don’t have a TV, you can get News Talk radio in your car.

If you don’t watch or read the news, the News will find you.  Hubby reads the paper on weekend mornings. Hubby will say, “listen to this!”, and then summarize the article for me. I enjoy this for the most part, but some of the News stories he passes along to me, disgust or outrage him enough to get riled up and on his soapbox. This man used to be easy-going. Has he changed or is it the News?

It amazes me what passes for News these days.

This is why I am starting a new category at Not Pretending: This Could Be News. I am not going to be reporting or commenting on the News because, well, you can get that anywhere.  Not Pretending  will be reporting on the possible News in the nearby future.

This Could be News is total fiction, meant only for our mutual entertainment. If  you don’t  like silliness, feel free to ignore this category. And BTW, if you don’t like silliness, what are you doing here??


photo credit: Mike Bailey-Gates via photopin cc