Author: JodiLea

I don't pretend to be who/what I'm not. I will be honest here unless I publish under the category "This could be news," which is 99% fiction and a wee bit sarcastic. ;-) I want readers who come here to have as much fun as I do. Not all subjects can be fun, but most can be funny if I do my job right ;-) My inner child is reflected in my logo and will change at a moment's notice.

For Heaven’s Sake, Lighten Up!!

~ JodiLea ~ 4 Comments

My Uncle John sent me this little story back in 2011. I came across it again this week. I don’t know if it’s true, but I hope it is!!

The Yellow Light

Yellow Light

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the cross walk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a police officer approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, ”I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally….I assumed you had stolen the car.”

The Cookbook: Formatting Nightmares

~ JodiLea

Future Cookbook

I am at the last section now – desserts!  I thought I would format the document while taking a break from writing recipes. OMG!!  What a mess I have made.

There are 126 “sections” in the manuscript because I used one and two column sections, for the ingredient list for each recipe. It looks really nice on the page, but now I can’t get the page numbering OR the footers working. Just when I get it started going right, I notice there are 2 odd-numbered header/footers in a row. Then 2 even-numbered sections in a row. All the even-numbered pages say “Page 2”, and all the odd-numbered ones disappear after the first 20 sections.  I do not know how this happens.

If I had a secretary, or an assistant, I could make them do this. Since I have to wear those hats during this point in my career, I must suck it up and learn how to format a many sectioned document. I have had MS Word training. I’m a woman, so I can (and do) ask for directions from “Help”.

There are many help pages on how to format a long document. There are no pages for help with fixing a messed up one. Perhaps Microsoft does not think people could mess up this bad.  Well, they do.

I need to know how to “hide” sections that I don’t want to count. I only want TWO real sections. Not 126 sections I can’t “link to previous” with, or make sense of.  Sigh. It looks like I need to sign up for more ^&*#@! training…

Weekly Photo Challenge: Mountains

~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

Sky Meets Mountain
Sky Meets Mountain
Aerial photography courtesy of Eric Steitz, CFI

 I have no idea where these mountains are or what they’re called. I love this photo because of the details it doesn’t have: Freeways, traffic jams, buildings, concrete, noise, telephones (smart or otherwise), and computers.

No politics, controversy, or arguing (i.e. no people). No “Reality” TV. Not any form of media to bombard you with idiotic advertisements that take more airtime than the show itself.

J