Lighten Up For Heaven’s Sake!

My Uncle John sent me this little story back in 2011. I came across it again this week, while looking through older posts.

I don’t know if it’s true, but I hope it is!!

The Yellow Light

Yellow Light

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the cross walk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a police officer approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, ”I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally….I assumed you had stolen the car.”
Hope you enjoyed that ‘story’ as much as I do! I will probably publish more re-runs this spring because I am looking through them trying to find a contest entry among them. Of course, the number of my readers has increased over the years and only my ‘oldest’ ones will remember these!
If any of my posts stuck with you, and you would like to see it again – don’t be shy! Requests flatter me to no end  🙂
♥ TTFN ♥

This WAS the News…

I LOVE the small county I live in!

These gems were published here in the past, but in honor of my latest (welcome!) readers, I’m sharing one of the many reasons I love this county…

The following newspaper clips are genuine published posts from our local paper …

 

And my personal favorite:

SheriffsLogCloseUp

 

Future tid-bits will be shared as I find them…

♥  TTFN  ♥

** Winning Warning Label: USE EXTREME CAUTION AROUND THIS HUMAN IF IT IS HOT, HUNGRY AND/OR TIRED. **

How Do YOU Pick ‘Em?

Not the horses.    trophys

I’m talking about Oscar winners. Is it just me, or does the Academy nominate  more people for each category now? More movies were up for Best Picture this year than usual.

I used to pick the winners based on who I wanted to win, Soon it was obvious that I did not share similar tastes with the Academy.

Next I tried to be logical. I would get a copy of the nominee list and figure out the actor and actress who starred in the movie I decided had the most chance for Best Picture. This method would have worked better if I didn’t suck at picking Best Picture.

I rarely see any nominated films before the award ceremony. This could be a significant factor – or not. Who really knows how the Academy selects the winners anyway. Their decisions amaze and anger me most of the time.

Considering the ridiculous choices the Academy occasionally makes it would not surprise me to find out the Academy members rarely watch every movie in question. Each member picks out a film to watch and writes an in-depth report on it. All members then meet to compare notes at a dark, dive-quality bar, and drink whiskey until they giggle like little girls. At that point they draw straws and the loser has to take everyone’s report and make up the nominees on the fly.

The week before the ceremony, our esteemed Academy returns to the dive-bar to decide on the winners.  Pieces of paper with a nominee’s name on them are taped to the dart board. The first paper to get nailed with a dart is the winner. The later it gets, the longer it takes to pick the winner using darts, because the Academy members are overly whiskeyed by this time.

If the designated record keeper forgets to record any results from the pierced paper choices, it all has to be done over. If the Academy failed to appoint a “record keeper” to begin with, they appoint the waitress with the largest breasts to keep score.

After all, this is Hollywood.