Take My House… PLEASE!

House For Sale

Before hubby and I can move to our dream house, we have to get rid of the one we are living in. Paying 2 mortgages has been interesting with both of us toiling at our full-time (and then some)  jobs, but we are really sick of this and want to retire. But retiring means living on less than 1/2 our income, so we can’t –  until we have paid our last payment (into escrow) for this house.

In the meantime our brand new home in the mountains, sits and waits. It’s waiting a lot more patiently than we are. Nerves are bent and frayed. Bodies aching. Some of us (not yours truly, but the other one) are getting more and more grumpy. Some of the pressure lifted yesterday, since we finished up the work that had to be done before we could officially get the house on the market.  Strangers could be walking through my house this very minute!

The house looks fabulous. It never looked this good before. Probably because there’s no trace of people living in it. Nothing sitting on counters. No dishes drying in the kitchen. Fridge is totally naked of magnets, pictures, appointment cards. The simplest task is a pain now – you have to find where you hid the crap you need to do it. To add a doctor’s appointment to our family calendar, one has to look for the calendar. The chances of a writing utensil close by is slim. These items used to hang by the phone in the kitchen. Now they are hidden away inside a cleared out drawer in the dining room china cabinet. Annoyingly inconvenient.

Naked Counter Tops

God help you if you need a tissue. No boxes of tissues are allowed to be on any counter – even bathroom counters can’t have tissues. Bathrooms, BTW, cannot have any personal items in view. “It just isn’t done” our agent told us, and we believe her. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, soap, lotions are big no-nos. Toilet paper was not mentioned and frankly, I was afraid to ask. Some very grumpy someone would not tolerate hidden TP, I can guarantee you.

When I get home,  it feels like I’m walking into an empty house. Where’s our stuff? OMG! We’ve been robbed!  I am secretly, absolutely, loving the fact that hubby isn’t piling his stuff on the dining table and the kitchen counters anymore. He actually puts it away! I have spent 24 years of complaining about his “piles”, and suddenly they disappear.   Apparently, that is how much power Natalie, our real estate agent, has.  Impressive.

Empty Kitchen

To Be Continued…

Party’s? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Party’s!

American Eagle

Election years suck!

I wish they would get rid of campaigning. What a total waste of resources! Billions spent on TV ads, travel costs for not only the candidates, but the current President as well. Tons of junk mail.  Worst of all, those ridiculous auto-calling recordings you get bombarded with every day!

Since I vote by mail-in ballot it’s doubly annoying to be hounded by political calls that increase in number as  election day looms closer.  I’m tempted to change my answering machine message to “You can’t influence me – I’ve already voted.”  Maybe add a snotty  “Neener-neener” at the end.  That way my machine could talk to their machine and leave me out of the whole thing.

And while I’m ranting, I want our President  in the oval office where he belongs – working.  Not gadding about the country, guest starring on Leno or whatever. If he was doing a great job taking care of this country and her citizens, then he wouldn’t need to campaign.  Am I right?  My employer expects me to do the work that he’s paying me to do.  The President,  Senators and Congressmen are supposed to be working for ‘We the People’.  Not for a political party agenda.  I think they missed that memo. (It probably came when they were out on the road campaigning.)

As far as the Party’s go – abolish them. ‘We the People’ are sick of their whining and blaming each other for why things can’t get done, or why things are done wrong.  There is no such thing as bi-partisan.  It’s only a buzz word, used during campaigns to fool us into thinking that the candidates really want everybody to “just get along” and put the country first.  Which would be so awesome if they meant it.

A quote from my favorite President comes to mind:  “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

I sure hope that wasn’t why they shot him.

Objects in This Mirror Are Faster Then They Appear

Maximum Speed Sign

Important rule in driver’s training – Check your blind-spot.  Very important rule for driving in California – Check your blind-spot TWICE.

I learned this last Thursday, as I drove up to my daughter’s place for Mother’s Day weekend.
I had gotten on the freeway and wanted to get over into one of the center lanes because I wouldn’t exit for some time, and I didn’t want to deal with merging idiots.

I, of course, looked in the mirrors and turned my head to check the blind spot, before moving over. I got 1/3 into the lane and the blast of an air-horn came from behind me as a white semi roared next to me on the left. The blue semi in the lane I had just exited, was along-side of me on the right. I straddled that white dashed line for at least 1/2 mile, willing my Honda Civic to be skinny by sucking in my stomach and chanting “Oh Sh!t, S!!t, Sh!t, Sh!t” through gritted teeth.

The blue semi took pity on me and moved over, giving me his lane. It took the rest of my trip (two and a half hours), to unfreak*. Was what happened my fault?  Was I the merging idiot?

Checking your blind spot tells you where folks are. Unfortunately, not how fast they are going.  Which is very important information to have, especially when very large vehicles are going 30 mph beyond the speed limit.  Semi’s and tractor trailers have a speed limit of 55 mph. And yet,  they travel at the speed of 70-80 mph. Even more amazing, is that you never see a big truck pulled over by the highway patrol. I don’t know if all states ignore speed limits, but California definitely takes ignorance to a new level.

So now I’m checking my mirrors and blind-spot twice. A habit I highly recommend you start practicing – before you become the filling for a Semi sandwich.

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* Word taken from the “Dictionary of Words That Should Be”