Diary of a Nicotine Addict: Week 5 Begins

June 17, 2011December 3, 2012 ~ JodiLea ~ 3 Comments

June 17th, 2011

Dear Diary,

This could be the toughest one yet. My hubby will be out-of-town all weekend and I will be left home alone. Unsupervised.

Well, I won’t be totally alone. The Bitch (a.k.a. my addiction), will be an uninvited house guest. She will be hovering close to me, whispering sweet lies that my addicted brain wants to believe. Things like “Oh come on, you deserve a ‘free day’ “, or “No one will ever know if you have a couple smokes”.

When she gets desperate, the Bitch starts throwing old issues at me, excavated from my traumatic past. Nothing is too low of a blow for the Bitch. ” It’s too late now, you’re old and the damage has been done “, ” If you can’t smoke anymore, which addiction will you turn to next?”, “Hasn’t your poor family been through enough?” The more desperate she gets, the nastier her ranting (inside my head) becomes.

What the Bitch doesn’t know is that I have a plan of attack. I’m going to strap on my iPod and rock & roll while spring cleaning. I call it spring cleaning because I’m going to pull everything out of the drawers, closets, and shelves. I will pack up what I want to move and get rid of what I don’t want. I will clean before I put the stuff back. This activity will be exhausting.

Next I will put on my pajamas, get my popcorn bowl, and start the Soap Marathon.

I have 8 days (16 episodes) of my soaps waiting for me on the DVR. Hubby hates listening to The Young and Restless & The Bold and Beautiful. I don’t know if he hates the shows, or my behavior. I admit that I sometimes yell at the characters when they are being incredibly stupid. There are many bitches (and bastards) to hate, root for, and scream at. If you’re looking for entertainment that takes you completely away from reality – you should check them out.

During Soap Intermission I plan to call my best friend and see what she’s up to. I will try to talk her into visiting me out here in California where it’s tornado and flood free. That girl knows me more than anyone else. Except God, and He may consult her for all I know..

When all the soaps have been watched and I touch base with my BFF, I may do some gardening, organize photos, clippings, announcements, and the what-not I’ve been saving to put into a scrapbook someday. Or I may take a nap. The choice is mine.

And NOT the Bitches!

😉

Things They Don’t Tell You About Quitting Smoking

June 11, 2011December 3, 2012 ~ JodiLea

June 11th, 2011: Day 23

Just mention that you’re thinking about quitting smoking and you are bombarded with information. My HMO has many pamphlets, seminars, classes and group therapy at my disposal. However, they don’t cover everything. I don’t know if it’s oversight or their way of protecting you.

Regardless, these are a few of the little things that I have discovered along the way…

When you remove yesterdays nicotine patch, in its place there is a red-ish square outlined by dirty glue. This makes it easy to follow the instructions “place next patch in a different area on your skin”. In fact, you will not put a patch back on that area for a week because the glue outline remains there after daily showers and soap. Only Mary Kay Sugar Scrub and exfoliating gloves will get this crap off.
The first week you are full of energy, so get as much done as you possibly can. Weeks 2 and 3 you are exhausted and too mentally unbalanced to get anything done.
Do not expect people to notice you. Do not take this personally. Not smoking is very much on your mind, but no one else is thinking about it.
Avoid airports. As you wait in the security line and then at the gate 1.5 hours before your flight, you will hear it at least 27 times. “Blah blah blah…There is no smoking inside the terminal… blah blah blah”. Thank you so much for reminding me I can’t smoke. Over and over and over. It’s torture.

That’s all I can think of now. There are more things I’ve learned, but the forgetfulness has kidnapped my brain again.

TTFN…

Diary of an Addict: Obey The Signs

June 10, 2011December 3, 2012 ~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment

June 10th, 2011: Day 22

Dear Diary,

I have a new mission. It popped into my head while I was putting together our dinner this evening. I just love when that happens!

I decided to stop, at least most of, my whining. It only feeds my dark emotional state and I am bored with it. Instead, I plan to pass along useful information about nicotine addiction. At least until another mission comes along. Who knows? I may actually help somebody!

I found these signs interesting and thought I would share them.

TTFN