Milestones

These can be joyful, nostalgic, sad, and heartwrenching. But you already knew that.

Last month’s milestone hit all four categories for me – my first granddaughter graduated High School. I keep having flashbacks to her (and mine) much younger days. Some of you, longtime readers, have witnessed her growing up through this blog.

She became 18 this summer (an adult!) This fall, she began her college journey. I’m so proud of her, and I always have been. Even as a toddler, she was smart, not just the ABCs or numbers, but smart in general. Like she could reason things out. A natural leader, she practically ran the preschool she attended. Her schoolmates followed her lead. I think back on it and wonder if they even had a choice. The girl is a powerful, strong-willed force when she puts her mind to it. Her sweet face somehow disarmed her in people’s minds, and they did not realize they were being bossed around.

My daughter would remind me – “don’t let her boss you around!” She forgets that I raised a strong-willed daughter myself. She would be surprised to learn that I admired her strong will and assertiveness. Her teenage years wore me out because I am a natural pacifist. A follower, not a leader. Timid and not assertive. Yet, I had to stand up to her and stick to my guns because I am a mom. Moms don’t give up.

I used to think that a mom’s reward (revenge?) was when you watched your child deal with their own kids that were just like them. Although that is kind of fun, the reward is so much better than that. It’s the grandchildren. You don’t even realize this until you have one, and that is probably because no one has the words to explain the overwhelming joy and love that takes over your heart. The shock of how intense the emotions are is confusing – you did not feel this way when your own child was born. And why not? Should you feel guilty about this?

At first, I felt guilty about the lack of such intense love for my child. I struggled with this until it occurred to me that what made it different was the fear. It was not there with the grandchild.

I was not her parent. The “business end” of being a mom is not my job. You know – the business of doctor & dentist appointments, parent-teacher conferences, field trips, permission slips, and absence notes. And that is only the school stuff.

This sweet baby in my arms has good parents to take care of all that and then some. Baby and grandma have a lot of cuddling and giggling to do. Snuggling up in the big chair by the wood stove, watching Backyardigans. Maybe Free Willy or Three Ninjas, for the upteenth millionth time.

The next thing you know – they are starting college.

Sunday: The Beginning or The End?

I hate that the calendar week starts on Sunday.
Sunday is supposed to be a day of “rest”, and reflection. A day to mentally relax before the next week’s chaos gears up for Monday.  And of course, for watching football.

To begin the week on Monday makes perfect sense. If you begin the week on Sunday, that means your rest and reflections should be on Saturday – making no sense whatsoever. Everyone knows that Saturdays are for goofing off, yard-work and socializing. Date night.

Answer me this…  Why are big award shows like the Grammies and the Oscars on Sunday night?  On Monday, people have to get up early and go (and function) to work.  Why can’t these shows be on Saturday?  If you want to make a night of Oscar’s festivities, you have to take Monday off.  Monday’s usually suck, so this is not a big sacrifice, however, your boss may disagree.

OSCAR In my family (only the women), we have a tradition around the Academy Awards that started with me and my teenage daughter.  The pre-show fashion dissing was so much fun that we watched it together – even if we had to watch over the phone or tape it for when we could be together.  Then, over the span of years our fun evolved into us dressing up and walking the red carpet while being interviewed and photographed.  The awards themselves were chances to voice (loudly) our opinions and eat the smorgasbord of snacks we prepared all day prior to the Event.  One year we filmed “screen tests” for Thor.

The past 2 years COVID prevented our traditional Oscar weekend.  I don’t think it a coincidence that the last two award ceremonies were blah.  This year should be different. We got so excited to hear about there being a Host this year!  In fact there are three of them, all comedians, and two of our favorites. Daughter has ‘Oscar Monday’ off, and my soon-to-be 12 year old granddaughter has permission to go on a field trip to her grandma’s and miss school.  There are certain things you aren’t taught in the classroom.  Like fashion sense.  How to behave with dignity.  How NOT to behave in public.

And then, there is ‘how to borrow clothes and jewelry you don’t want to buy’, and what ‘after-party’ really means.  I could go on.  I am so far off track now that I should just wrap this up and call it a night.  I asked a question somewhere in the beginning of this post… Oh yeah!  Should Sunday be the start or the end of the week?

I’m not really interested in that topic anymore. Besides I must get ready for the Oscars!  If you have an opinion about Sunday, please share it with us in the comments!

TTFN

What Makes YOU Happy?

Happiness does not come from people, places, or things. So before you get ready to argue with me, let me explain…

Many things make people happy. Pleasant surprises, good news, your favorite food for dinner, looking forward to seeing family & friends. Grandchildren. Being successful. Happy is a great thing, but it is temporary most of the time.

Why Can’t I Have Both?

Your world returns to normal and routine again before you know it. Now you have happy memories, like movies to play in your head. Maybe you took videos and can play memories on a device. I usually don’t because when I’m involved with something, I tend to forget about photos until it is over and too late. My friends, who are grandma’s, think it is absolutely horrid because I don’t take a ton of pictures and videos. But, hey, I’m too busy having fun with my grandkids to be their lead photographer. Why doesn’t hubby take photos? He is taller, his hands are steadier, and he’s not stuck in the kitchen half the day.

I will stop there. I can tell there is an underlying rant stirring up. Did you notice?

Dennis Miller
The Master Ranter

Rants that bubble up out of nowhere when you are talking about something different can be the best ones. However, today is not the day to rant because I want to focus on things that make me happy. So for those who enjoy focusing on peeves and annoyances, don’t worry. Your day will come. Perhaps sooner than we think.

So – whether you use your fingers to count, write up a list, or make notes on your phone, get comfy and close your eyes a minute and focus on things that make you smile, laugh, feel all warm and tingly, make your day, give you sudden emotions (click here for definition). Not the BIG ticket items or philosophically deep things. More of every day and silly things that make your life enjoyable and more fun.

  • Things that make me happy:
    • wearing pajamas
    • hearing kids giggle
    • when my dog hugs me
    • a mug of hot coffee
    • watching snow fall
    • hubby holding my hand
    • writing
    • dancing
    • rock

OK. I told you some of mine. Please share some of yours in the comments! When you comment, I know you are out there, and that makes me very happy 🙂

TTFN