“Star Date: December 15, 1984,” begins a post by one of my favorite bloggers – Bitter Ben.
Out of curiosity, I looked that date up in my journal. Yes, like Captain Kirk, I kept logs.

Even my therapist was “amazed” at the stacks of journals I owned up to. Some were in wire-bound notebooks – the early years. Later on, I got addicted to nicely bound journals (usually found at Ross) that looked like any of the other books on my bookshelves. No one knows that I am still writing in them. This is more effective protection than locked diaries that draw attention to themselves because they are locked and presumably full of secrets.

So, searching for Ben’s special date, I re-discovered some of my own in the search through my past. August 8th, 2008 (8/8/08) – I am descending into a serious depression and don’t know it. I am freaking out about being overwhelmed at work AND home – I have too much to do for one person in the allotted time. To save money, my project is not allowing overtime. The dude in charge of customer support (tech support that I care for) retired. He will not be replaced. Translation: Jodi will have to do (or delegate) everything. The “new” girl takes over the tasks that the retired guy left behind and starts to boss me around. She works for me. She probably senses that I am losing it.

Man! Reading those logs made me nervous. Was I really that close to a nervous breakdown? Oh, yes. No wonder hubby wanted to retire ASAP. I must have been driving him crazy, griping about work constantly. I caught on to the depression factor when I stopped wearing make-up and getting my hair done.

In 2007 and 2008, I probably would have given into depression if it was not for my granddaughter, then a toddler of 3 years, loving me. The knock-you-down kind of love that they express when they see you and run full out to hug you. Agape. The Spanish word for the purest and unmotivated/unselfish love.

August 8, 2023 – (8/8/23) Maui caught fire, and Lahaina was destroyed. I had our 35th-anniversary trip all planned out. Guess where?
What is it about August 8th? I need to do some research about that date to see if it shows up in my historical records again. My hysterical records are probably a more fitting description.

Thanks for listening!

To be continued…