Why I’m Donating My Body To Science

May 26, 2014 ~ JodiLea

OperatingRoom Whoever said that “50 is the new 30”, is so full of crap! For me, it’s more like ’30 is the new 50′.

This month I turned another year older. I don’t feel any different from I way I felt before my birthday. Aside from a few really cool gifts, the day was S.S.D.D. (same sh*t, different day) all around. Yawn.

My face and skin tell on my age, but beyond that, my body does not abide by the same rules of aging like normal people. And no – I don’t grow younger or older faster. There is no portrait in the attic.

What I’m talking about, is that physiologically speaking, I’m an anomaly (a.k.a. a freak of nature). All my life medical people have told me “Oh, you are too young to have blah-dee-blah” or “Oh, you are too old to be having doodly-doo”.

For example – At age 12.5 I began menstruating, probably the only thing that’s happened in a timely manner. But at age 14, I started going through menopause. My periods stopped. I grew a mustache, among other disturbing things. I had night sweats. My acne turned into volcanic cysts. The deep and scarring kind. The sit home on Saturday night kind.

My mom drug me to her gynecologist for an exam. Not a recommended way to lose your virginity, but at least I had a note from the doctor to show my future groom. It turned out the hormonal distress was caused by poly-cystic ovary disease. And too much testosterone.

My testosterone level was higher than my estrogen level. Was my body trying to become male? I started a self-inventory then. I had broad shoulders, and a muscular frame. My voice was not girly in nature. OMG! These facts plummeted my self-confidence. The treatment? The doc put on the strongest birth-control pill that existed – to bypass my own hormones. My acne got a bit better, but unfortunately, it was too late for my chest. Too late for my ovaries also, they speculated I may not be able to conceive. Ha! They should meet my beautiful daughter sometime…

When I was 29-years old, I got Chicken Pox. It nearly killed me. I had to start taking my short-term disability from work. My own daughter was terrified of me. I had so many scabs that I looked like a burn victim. A doctor in urgent care actually whipped out his camera and took photos – with and without gown. I hope he got recognition for his journal article. Somewhere there is a medical book with my scabby ass in it, I know it.

I never got ‘carded’ at a bar or liquor store until I was 30. Also in that decade, I broke out in shingles. Then I somehow contracted another childhood disease, which was a rash of super tiny bumps and a fever. My doctor at the time could not even remember the name for it. All I knew was I had that “kids rash thing”. I was also contagious. Try to explain that to your boss.

My 40’s were a blur of stress, depression, anxiety and addiction – that I won’t go into now. Believe me when I say it’s a miracle I even made it to my 50’s.

When I was 49-years old I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. It turns out that I had Type I, but was misdiagnosed because I – get this – was not a juvenile.

If you have read thus far, Thank You. And please let me emphasize that my donation will happen after I die! It’s doubtful any of my organs will be healthy enough to transplant. Who knows, maybe my body will help a breakthrough in diabetes research, or something else significant. Either way, I won’t be needing it anymore.

I am NOT happy that small-pox is making a comeback! There are actually ignorant people out there, who don’t get their kids vaccinated. I was vaccinated when I was 6-years old. I don’t know the statute of limitations for a small-pox vaccine, but I probably need a booster by now…

photo credit: The U.S. Army via photopin cc

Walking Through Memory Lane

May 24, 2014 ~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment

Now that I have more shelves, cupboards, and filing cabinets, the boxes in the back of closets and stacked in the bedrooms can now be unloaded and put away.

admin-ajax.php — I’m on Left & sister on Right

Not as easy as it sounds, I find.

A lot of family history in photo albums and scrapbooks are in those boxes. Of course, I knew that. What I did not know, what mom never told me about, were the pieces of US history, also stashed away – in the form of newspapers and magazines. For decades this history followed us through three big moves, in storage twice, and finally rests in my possession. To pass on to my granddaughters, and their children, so they can actually read and view the history they will learn about in school.

I realize that these treasures will not mean so much to them, now. Some of this happened more than two generations ago, long before they were born. They are smart and healthy and into the things that little girls are into. History will be way up there, along with Social Studies (or whatever they call it now), on their ‘boringest* stuff ‘ list.

Then they will be grown, old enough to appreciate keepsakes from the past. What I save now will be relics, I suppose. They already look like relics – wrinkled and yellowed. Like those of us who were alive when it happened…

There were headlines in huge type “EARTHQUAKE!” for both of the devastating quakes in 1979 and 1989 – in the San Francisco Bay Area. Photos of the Cyprus section of I-880 collapsed and destroyed.

I found a plastic bag of newspapers, with front-page headlines reading “JFK ASSASSINATED!”, and other headlines just as shocking, reporting that horrible week in Dallas.

I saved the week of the September 11th, 2001 newspapers. [For non-US readers: When Al Qaeda’s suicide pilots destroyed the World Trade Center Towers and defiled the Pentagon]

As important as world History is, I feel that it’s just as important to learn about your family history. Hopefully through letters, diaries, stories told, scrapbooks and photo albums and not from newspaper headlines!

Aren’t we, as parents and grandparents, obligated to pass down the family ‘stories’? If not us, then who? Future generations depend on us saving newspapers and family significant things.

Save articles & momentous items in a desk drawer, paper bag, or hat box. When the mood strikes you, they will be ready to slap into a photo album or scrapbook. 😉
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* boringest: adverb. Term used for describing extremely boring activities or events. Taken from: The Dictionary of Words That Should Be

Badder Grandma

May 17, 2014 ~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment

Apparently, I did not inherit my Grandma McGuire’s skill. That woman could take great pictures no matter what position the sun was in, or extreme heat/cold. There are so many photos of our family that I treasure now, and they are all because of her diligence.

No matter how much we protested.

When I was a kid, she was always blinding us with that flash-lamp or making us stand still and say cheese. Sometimes, she was more like the paparazzi than a doting grandmother. I remember her getting fabulous footage of a parade because she squeezed her 4-foot 10-inch frame, through the crowd surrounding the street, until she popped out at the curb with her camera. Nobody even minded – probably because they could see over her.

Now I am the grandma. Even with an incredible camera, and a wonderfully photogenic family, I was only able to capture a fraction of the fun we had – and it’s blurry. I am so bummed out…

For better or worse, I took these yesterday at the Calaveras County Fair & Jumping Frog Jubilee.

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You heard it here first – I promise to learn how to use my camera in extreme heat and sun conditions, with 3 people talking to me at the same time, and wanting to rip my camisole off because it’s full of popcorn, salt, sweat and dirt.

Grandma, I don’t know how you did it!