Crazy Quilt Crap

~ JodiLea

For those new to Not Pretending, you may not know that I am often the victim of life’s improbable and sometimes ridiculous events. In other words, the craziest crap happens to me.  Sometimes the crap is humorous. Sometimes it’s caused by my clumsiness or stupid thinking.  Occasionally, there are outside forces at work against me. Like today.

I got a “kit” to make an easy level crib quilt and I decided my beginner skills could handle it. All I had to do was sew two borders around a solid panel, then find a fabric for the backing and some batting for the in-between layer. Then I could quilt it and finish it.  Piece of cake.

What I forgot to factor into this venture, was that I was the one doing it.

The first thing I did was open the kit and look at the fabric. The Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore panel, that was 90% of the quilt, was cut out crooked. At first I blamed the quilting store. Then, I noticed the pattern of little holes running down the sides of the panel. Someone had attempted to make the quilt before I got the kit.  Mmmm…

Probably the same person who cut the panel half-assed, I told myself. I will just trim the edges and make it square up. 35 minutes later it was as good as it was gonna get. On to cutting the fabric for the borders!

The border fabric was cut crooked as well – what a surprise!  Now to sew the 1st border fabric to the panel. First I ironed the pieces, then I lined the right sides together and pinned the fabrics where I wanted them to be when I sewed. This took up a lot of time. I used my rulers and marking pencil, as I was taught and still I had somehow cut the border pieces a bit “off”.

Oh well, I said. The outside borders would make up for it, and I plundered on.

HA!  Ignorance is NOT bliss. The outer border matched up even worse. Now I had a mess so obvious that I would have to start over.

This is what happened to the quilter before me. After ripping out all the stitches, she packed up the kit and returned it to the store. I am on to you, lady. You ruined my happy sewing day.

I’ll start over tomorrow. I’m in the middle of a good book. The book at least has squared up corners  😉

PoohQuilt
Looks good from a distance
QuiltCorner
The worst corner

Diary of a Nicotine Addict: Why We Can’t Quit

~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment

Author’s note: I’m usually trying to be humorous, or sarcastic, but tonight I am trying to pass on information that I discovered during my journey with nicotine addiction. I am still learning!

SmokingOneFullWithSurgeonGeneral

I can go weeks without ever thinking about cigarettes. Then plans get messed up,  a medical emergency happens, or I can’t find something important and dammit, I want to smoke. Like that is going to help my plans, my health, or my brain. After nearly two years of being smoke free you would expect me to no longer be addicted to nicotine.  You are wrong.

Sure, my body is rid of the nicotine and other chemicals from inhaling cigarette smoke. Unfortunately, my brain won’t let go completely. Nicotine in my blood-stream would reach my brain and “light up” sensors that made me feel good. My brain remembers this (or the sensors do). I’m not even thinking about smoking, but my brain has those sensory memories stored somewhere. Waiting.

When we are stressed, our mind works overtime to find a way to get us back to a non-stressed state. Why doesn’t my mind find a different solution? Like a cup of tea or a nice long bath? Probably because I never used those things to calm down. I would always light up a cigarette.  I thought that inhaling the nicotine calmed me down, when in reality, nicotine is a stimulant that increases your heart rate and blood pressure. I only felt calmer because I satisfied my craving for nicotine.

That’s how they get you. The Tobacco industry. Their products supply you with nicotine, your brain starts to need the nicotine and you end up smoking to satisfy those greedy neurotransmitters begging for another nicotine fix. If that isn’t bad enough, the cigarette you just had is setting you up for the next one. Because the sensation of withdrawal is uncomfortable, and the only way to stop it is another cigarette.

No wonder the industry can make billions of dollars – and we can’t stop smoking.

Non-addicts believe that if you just used some will-power, you could quit. HA!  You can’t break addiction with will-power. Why? Because the brain, neurology and psychology are inter-twined around your addiction. The Bitch owns you. You need professional help, but you don’t want to ask for any, because the thought of you never smoking again terrifies you.

I heard that heroin addicts have less trouble getting the monkey off their back, than smokers. Don’t believe that? I didn’t either – until I asked a recovering heroin addict. She opened her purse and showed me her cigarettes. So, I guess that meant yes.

Scary.

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