Romance For Dummies: V-day

~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

CupidConquers

In honor of  St. Cupid, I am “paying it forward” to educate men about romance and how it can make their lives (and ours) much happier. ” If your woman is happy…”  and so on.

The very first item we need to cover  is Valentine’s Day. It is this week!!

NEVER ignore this day, or pretend you forgot, to save you from making an effort to be romantic. Gentlemen, you  screw yourselves by doing this. (Pun intended)  This is the one day of the year, she needs to feel special.  Desired, adored and spoiled by you. If she tells you “Oh, Valentine’s Day is no biggie. I don’t care about flowers and chocolates…”.  Do not sigh relief and be glad to get out of it.

SHE  IS  LYING.

Don’t panic!  Remember, you once convinced her to go out with you.  Be that guy. Flirt with her.  I don’t care if you’ve been married for 25-years, she will flirt back.

The Valentine’s Day gift must be something wrapped, for her to open. Taking her to dinner is romantic, but NOT a gift. If you can’t afford to buy her nice jewelry – don’t worry.  My favorite gifts have been a picture of Micky & Minnie Mouse flirting (perfect for a new courtship), and the cutest cement  bunny that mysteriously appeared in my garden.  BTW,  I married that guy…

It doesn’t matter what*** the gift is.  It just needs to represent your feelings for her. Maybe it represents a private joke that only you two share.   The point is you are expressing your love for her. That’s all she wants. Really.

Now that isn’t so bad, is it?

♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥  ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥  ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥  ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥   ♥

*** Gifts to NEVER buy a woman (for any occasion):

  • Kitchen Utensils (i.e. spatulas, colanders)
  • Vacuum Cleaner
  • Apron
  • Voo-Doo Doll
  • A Cookbook (unless cooking together is your “thing”)
  • Electronic Gadget that you want
  • Gun(s)
  • Porn (Dude!  Totally not cool as a gift)

Ladies – please send me any suggestions or ideas that need to be passed along to your man. Together we can make a difference  🙂

photo credit: Sebastià Giralt via photopin cc

I Turisti

~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

Weekly Writing Challenge: (A picture is worth 1,000 words):
couple-embrace-WWC

The walk to the plaza was long and uphill. If he had the money to waste, Anton would take the trolley instead of the tiered cobblestone sidewalk. At least on burning hot and humid days – like today.

The alleyway was shabby in daylight. The tall buildings lining the strada were worn and dirty from decades of weather and graffiti.  Automobiles, motorbikes, and bicycles were forbidden here.  Technically,  Salire in Cima, Climb to the top, was not a street.  Just trolley tracks and cobblestone steps flanking them.

A pretty girl in a flowered summer dress caught his eye. She walked down the steps from the top of the plaza.  As he watched,  the trolley screeched to a stop behind him, and chatting passengers began to exit.

Suddenly, the girl was standing directly in front of  him. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close.  He felt her breath on his neck and her rapid heartbeat against his chest.  What the Hell? Did he know her?

“Please,” she whispered. “My ex-boyfriend just got off the trolley and I don’t want him to see me!”

Anton put his arms around her, going along with her ruse, even though he had his suspicions.  Things like this didn’t happen to him. Ever.

“Sei un ladro?” he whispered in reply. He asked her if she was a pickpocket.

“Cosa?”  She replied in Italian “What?”

“My apartment is nearby – you could hide there,” he said softly, in English, while his fingers played with her hair.

So, Italian was not her native language. She pronounced words correctly enough, but her grammar made a mess of them. Normally this would irritate him, but this was not an ordinary day. Not at all.