And the Hits Just Keep on Coming…

After 11 days, hubby is out of the hospital. However, his IV-delivered medicine has to keep happening every morning. The first day home a nurse came to show us how to prep the lines and flush them, then do a bunch of stuff like mixing the meds into the bag, prep the tubing, hooking that up into the bag, and hanging the bag. The meds take 30 minutes to get into hubby’s bloodstream. Once those are done, everything is unplugged and taken down and the leads get flushed out and capped. Until the next time.

  And yes, it is as complicated as it sounds. Each step is easy on its own. When you must do all 40 of these steps in the correct order, in a timely manner, with the patient and his sister watching every move you make, it is overwhelming. Did I mention that the IV tubes on the outside of his arm, that I work with, do not feed the veins in his arm like the typical IV does? The tubes were surgically planted into his heart to deliver this crucial medication. I rather not know that detail, but it’s too late now.

Three days after his discharge I am still filling out paperwork for the home care and the infectious diseases doctor. Each medical entity has its own form, so I got one to fill out at urgent care, one in the ER,  one in ICU, and one for the physician. One for the Home Care people, the Home Care pharmacist, the visiting nurse, and now for the new specialist we see two days from now. 

Has no one in this town ever heard of a xerox machine?

My daughter asked me how I was doing, and it was right then I realized I was depressed. A typical reaction for me, once the emergency or danger passed, is to fall apart. I allow all the fear, panic, and emotions to finally hit me.

This grumpy curly haired child expresses herself exactly how I feel. Society frowns on grown women pouting in public. Only cute kids can get away with it, so Miss grumpy locks here is my Avatar.

You Might Be Depressed If…

Jeff Foxworthy got famous for this statement “You might be a redneck if…”  His answers are more than funny – if you have hillbillies in your family tree, his answers ring true.  Being the truth, they are hysterical.

Anyway, I’m not attempting to ‘get famous’ for my statement (see title),  and it is hardly funny. The thing is, a person may not recognize depression settling in until it’s too late.  Depression is evil, and it sneaks up on you.Girl looking out window at rain

In the interest of crushing depression out of existence, I will share the warning signs / behaviors that I have experienced.

  • The only fashion you care about are your pajamas.
  • Grooming is the first thing to go. You don’t have the energy (or desire) to shower. After 3 days, you know you should groom yourself. You feel guilty, but wait until tomorrow.
  • Make-up? Hair styles?  HA! These need a mirror, and you avoid mirrors like a vampire.
  • Strange ideas pop into your head out of nowhere. And linger in your brain.
  • Your dreams are bizarre and disturbing, way more than they used to be.  Unfortunately, they do not lend themselves to an interesting blog post.
  • Everywhere you look you see spider webs, dust bunnies, soap scum, and copious amounts of dog hair.  As you see these things, you realize that there is also a rust colored film over each inch of the house. DUST.
  • You begin spring cleaning – even if it is not spring. You want to give up because the amount of work to be done is overwhelming. You do not give up because you can daydream about a better life while you listen to music and scrub.
  • When you do get dressed, you look like a hobo or a Ho. The last time you bought clothes was in 2003 and none of them fit anymore. Except pajamas.
  • You are reading this list and nodding your head.

♥  TTFN  ♥

Can You See Me Now?

InvisibleIllness
When I saw this diagram, it reminded me of the iceberg that destroyed the Titanic.  Then I read it.

Wow. That’s me. And like the Titanic, it was the below the surface crap that crippled and nearly sunk me. However – this post is not about me. “What?!” you say.  Yeah yeah.

I was compelled to share this with you, my dear readers, to hopefully educate you about people with chronic (invisible) illnesses. Maybe, you deal with one, but certainly someone you know has a chronic illness, whether you are aware of it or not.

I know about it now. Way too much, to be honest.

If you have read any of my posts under “Being Diabetic” or my “Insulin Pump Saga”, I talk not only about my disease, but how I try to cope with everyday life.  Just telling y’all is cathartic, so I benefit, but I also have my BFF, God, my diary and a dog I can talk to, so these posts are more for those newly diagnosed with a chronic illness, or the people who care about them.

It’s a walk in my shoes to look at how things go, from a person living with one (chronic illness). Live information, instead of all the books, pamphlets and videos thrown at you to absorb. Don’t even think about getting rid of those, BTW!  Mine are filed away in the black-hole under my office files, but they are there when I need to refer to them. Yes, even after being diagnosed 10 years ago, I still need them occasionally.  You can’t know everything!  Not at the same time.

Some days I may seem a little “off”, or not myself.  OK, so most days I seem like that – Ha!  I don’t usually mention it because words of explanation are tough to come by without sounding like a complainer. [Y’all know I’m a complainer, but it’s usually about politics, law, football or stupid people – not all about me.]

Well, it’s time to check my sugars and have a snack (or not) and put my ass in bed – that’s a big job these days…

TTFN

If you have Diabetes (Type I or II) and would like to comment, ask questions, or relay information – PLEASE do so!!