This Could Be News…

Americans Elect an 11th-Hour President!

The majority of American voters chose to cast their vote for write-in candidate; Sir Harry Potter, giving him the largest margin of electorial votes. Both democrats and republicans passed over their party’s nominated candidate, hoping to have a true non-partisan president at last. “We’re sick of America’s political machine and the ‘good ‘ol boy’s’ network”, explained one voter.

And having access to a bit of magic can’t hurt either.

When interviewed, former President Obama demanded to see Potter’s birth certificate. A spokesman for Mitt Romney said the republican candidate was laughing too hard to comment.

Painting of Harry PotterSir Potter, announced that he was both surprised and honored to be elected as the 44th President of the United States

The swearing-in ceremony will be held January 2013.




© non-associated Press

photo credit: Axell [] via photo pin cc

This Could Be News…


Has Political Correctness gone too far?

“Yes!”, exclaims Mayor Eldon Sidney, “and the people of this town have decided to do something about it.”

The residents of  Nemo, CA decided at their monthly town meeting on Friday, to put together a local law (Measure” N”) that would be added to the County Election ballot and voted on during the Primary Election, Tuesday, June 5th, 2012.

If passed, Measure “N” will exempt the town of  Nemo from using P.C. terminology.  They will be free to talk  like they used to.

“You know, like back when this country had free-speech”, said Councilman Hart. “We have more rules, laws, and taxes forced on us now by our own Government than the English oppressed us with back in the 1770’s.”

Nemo’s oldest resident at 89-years, Hattie May Johnson, laughed when asked how she felt about Measure N.  “I’ve been talking since the age of two and nobody’s going to be able to change how I do it now. I don’t cuss or take the Lord’s name in vain, which is more than those politicians can say!”  Hattie went on to explain,  “If we say someone is ‘height challenged’, everyone has to think about that a minute to translate the meaning. Horse feathers! Short means short! I’m short. Are you ashamed of being short? If you say I’m ‘height challenged’ I am still short. It don’t change that fact one bit!”

She’s got a point there. Maybe there should be a law about political correctness – requiring politicians to behave correctly...

Leave me alone. ALL of you!!


It’s almost 8:00pm here on the west coast and the polls will be closed.

I wish I had kept a tally of all the political recordings I received since June. The count must have been at least in the thousands . Every day I would get at least one and most days 2 or 3. Every candidate running for office called me.  That would have been OK if they called me ONCE.

Then it got worse. Recordings from people supporting the candidates called telling me to vote for their good buddy, what’s his/her name. Now the count was 3 to 5 calls per day.

I got a call one day from Daniel Boone. He wanted me to vote pro-NRA. Great. Now dead people are calling and telling me what to do.

Jerry Lewis, Betty White, and one of the Sheen’s called me. I did not feel honored, perhaps I would have been, if they had actually been on the phone with me.

Arnold Schwarzenegger called a few times. Don’t tell him I did not do what he told me to do, OK?

Now the frequency of calls escalated to 8 to 10 – two weeks before election day. Since I already voted by absentee ballot, the constant calling was driving me bat-shit. “I already voted! Stop calling me!”,  I shouted into the phone. Pretty silly, I know, but it made me feel better.

10 days before the election I had suffered enough. I refused to answer the phone. Period. Some recordings would disconnect when the machine answered. How rude! Most of the calls left messages on the machine.  R  e  a  l  l  y – l  o  n  g –  o   n  e   s.  Going on and on and on ……  If I was home in the evening I had to listen to these because one does not turn off their phone when they have a mother in hospice care.

Speaking of evening – some calls would come in after 9:00pm. That is outrageous to me. Maybe because my bedtime is 8:00pm (I get up between 3:00-4:00am).

So tonight I am celebrating by going to bed early and getting some sleep.

Hey, you people out there laughing, celebrate your own way (you aren’t sleeping with me!) . Continue reading “Leave me alone. ALL of you!!”