When Dinner Looks Back At You

This afternoon I got into a rare domestic mood and cleaned! Then, as if that wasn’t enough, I decided to actually cook something.

I had a huge chicken breast in the fridge and red potatoes in my pantry. I even had vegetables for a great salad. Hubby will be pleasantly surprised.

First thing, I needed to chop the breast into four pieces (that’s how large the thing was!). Then I got out .the Jamaican Rub I bought in town at the flea market.   I rubbed olive oil into the chicken then rubbed the rub in. I wrapped them up to marinate. I was feeling pretty proud of myself for getting a head-start on dinner instead of my usual M.O. of late – to whip up any old thing I had around.

Next, I got the 5-lb bag of potatoes from the pantry. Funny, but I bought them two weeks ago, and there were already “eyes” peeking out from the air-holes in the plastic bag. When I let the potatoes roll out of the bag and into the sink, I screamed and jumped back. I know I will have nightmares about all those hideous evil eyes looking up at me in a sinister way. I should have chucked them all and made rice, but those who know me understand how stubborn I am. Besides I wanted roasted potatoes cooked on the grill, so maybe I could sit and relax for just a few minutes. It never happens, but as an optimist I keep planning it.

EyesCloseUp

Every single potato had large bulging eyes, and on top of those, more bulging eyes. There were so many eyes the potatoes looked like they had spiny flowers growing out of them. The flowers were greenish-red and hairy, but I knew it wasn’t hair. I could not bring myself to touch them.

I stood there at the sink , staring back at my dinner, debating whether I should wash them first, or start hacking out eyes. I washed them first, after all they were already in the sink.

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Then with my trusty chopping knife and a potato peeler, I managed to find 5 potatoes that had more potato than eyes. After cubing them and mixing with butter and garlic salt, I double-wrapped them in foil. I cleaned the hacked up remains from the counters and handed the plate of chicken and the foil-wrapped potatoes to hubby to BBQ.

I’m sure that hubby enjoyed eating those potatoes, way more than I did. A true case of “Ignorance is Bliss”.

Moral of this story? Do not buy potatoes in bags. Pick potatoes one at a time.  😉

Movie Review: Mirrors

Movie Reviews Logo
It is a known fact (many witnesses/victims) that if you allow Jodi (me) to select tonight’s movie (from Netflix, On-Demand, or whatever) the odds of your viewing a “B” or “C” movie are 99.5%. Twenty minutes into the film you realize there has been a horrible mistake, but alas, you made the commitment and it’s too late now to pick another one from the list.

My sister must have temporarily forgotten this and she let me pick out a movie to watch while we waited for the Ball to drop New Year’s Eve. Hey, in my defense, the description of the movie was interesting. It starred Keifer Sutherland and not Mr. NeverHeardOfHim.  It had to be a good movie if Keifer was in it!

No, it doesn’t.

Mirrors Poster
MIRRORS

  • MIRRORS
  • Release Date: Aug 15, 2008
  • Rated R: Extreme Violence, Adult Language, Brief Nudity
  • Run-time: 1 hr. 51 min.
  • Genres: Horror, Suspense/Thriller
  • Director:Alexandre Aja
  • Cast: Kiefer Sutherland, Paula Patton, Amy Smart, Mary Beth Peil, Cameron Boyce.

Let me explain why I did not like it:

#1 There is a 24/7 security force that hires Kiefer’s character “Ben” for the night-shift. What does he guard? A fire damaged, condemned monstrosity of an old building.  There is no business, construction, or people near this building.  I could not get over this ridiculousness. Throughout the entire film I am asking my sister, “Why the hell do they have to guard that place?”  She ignored me.


#2 Ben has this large tattoo on the inside of his right arm. It looked like it could be words or symbols of some kind. We never find out anything about it, so why did he have one? Is it really a tattoo and not movie make-up? Jack Bauer never had a tattoo.


#3  I love the genre “Horror, Suspense/Thriller”.  Not a big fan of  “So Gross I can’t take it”.  I can take a lot of gross stuff, so I went into this with no fear. Just when I am absorbed with the story (taking a break from protesting the guarding of a condemned building), I am suddenly  confronted with something so heinous, that I catch myself gnashing my teeth, curling up into a ball, leaning away from the TV.  My sister is actually is enjoying the movie – go figure.


#4 Ben’s estranged wife. This woman exposes her cleavage way too much for a mother of two and a coroner. Come on! If you’ve got to show some titties write in a hot girl next door or a hooker. Don’t insult real moms !


#5 The ending. Ben does not get to return to his busty wife and 2 kids. After all the horror he endured fighting against the evil thing in the mirrors, he should at least get laid.