A Joke For You

February 26, 2011February 25, 2011 ~ JodiLea

Airplane Landing I get a lot of email with Re:FWD:Re:FWD:FWD:FWD.. as the Subject. Sometimes a cute joke will come my way and I pass along the ones that make me laugh out loud. [This one is from my cuz-in-law, Shar]

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A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston ”

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business role at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to have that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba.”

Main Dishes

February 22, 2011February 22, 2011 ~ JodiLea

The Cookbook Saga continues….

I did not realize the vast collection of recipes crammed into my Main Dish file. I was getting tired of this section, when to my delight I came across recipes that I had originated in the early 90’s. I used to be so creative in the kitchen! Creativity can work against you with some dishes. For example, if you modify a crock pot recipe it can go very, very wrong.

Usually I get new recipes from Taste of Home magazine, or the food section of the local newspaper. Friends and relatives are a good source, and I am not too shy to ask a waitress for “take out” recipes. I proudly have in my possession the Cheddar Bay Biscuit recipe from

Just because I have a recipe for a wonderful dish, doesn’t mean I won’t tamper with it. I can’t help myself. A little of this, some of that, disregard those things, etc. Always looking for the Perfect Meal.

However, lately I am looking for the Easy Meal. I have spent over 1/2 my life in the kitchen and I want to explore the other rooms now. Most “easy” meals seem to have common ingredients. Condensed Cream of Something and Bisquick. Oh well. An example of: You Can’t Have Your Easy and Like it Too.

I will share with you one of the tastiest “easy” entreés I conjured up.

Pasta with Asparagus & Mushrooms
1 small package of Vermicelli or Spaghetti
1 bunch of fresh Asparagus
6-10 fresh large white Mushrooms
1-2 cloves Garlic, minced
2 Tbls Butter
2 Tbls Olive Oil

Break pasta in half and cook according to package directions. Rinse in warm water and drain.
Clean veggies. Cut asparagus into 2 inch pieces, slice mushrooms.
In a large non-stick pan, sauté the garlic in butter & oil for a minute on medium heat. Add the asparagus and mushrooms. Cook on medium-low heat until asparagus is tender. Add pasta and toss until evenly coated. Salt and Pepper to taste. (May need to sprinkle more olive oil if pasta not coated well.) Serve with grated Parmesan cheese.

That’s All Folks. To make it a complete meal toss in some cooked chicken, fish, ham or steak.

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Showerless?

February 21, 2011 ~ JodiLea

Shower Head How long can I go without a shower? Not long. After 24-hours my hair is greasy and stringy, which makes me feel grubby and gross. I have, for various reasons, gone as long as 4 days without one. The first 2 were not too bad, but by the 4th I was a raving loony. Every inch of my skin itched. Especially my scalp. I had to wear a do-rag to hide my mess of a head.

I was ugly and I wanted to hide under a rock. I fantasized about hot steamy showers, big fluffy white towels, and shampoo suds. The bottoms of my feet itched so bad that I had to jump up and down, stomping hard on the floor. I looked like a bad tantrum happening.

So to answer your question – 2 days.