Movie Review: Mirrors

January 2, 2011January 1, 2011 ~ JodiLea

It is a known fact (many witnesses/victims) that if you allow Jodi (me) to select tonight’s movie (from Netflix, On-Demand, or whatever) the odds of your viewing a “B” or “C” movie are 99.5%. Twenty minutes into the film you realize there has been a horrible mistake, but alas, you made the commitment and it’s too late now to pick another one from the list.

My sister must have temporarily forgotten this and she let me pick out a movie to watch while we waited for the Ball to drop New Year’s Eve. Hey, in my defense, the description of the movie was interesting. It starred Keifer Sutherland and not Mr. NeverHeardOfHim. It had to be a good movie if Keifer was in it!

No, it doesn’t.

MIRRORS
Release Date: Aug 15, 2008
Rated R: Extreme Violence, Adult Language, Brief Nudity
Run-time: 1 hr. 51 min.
Genres: Horror, Suspense/Thriller
Director:Alexandre Aja
Cast: Kiefer Sutherland, Paula Patton, Amy Smart, Mary Beth Peil, Cameron Boyce.

Let me explain why I did not like it:

#1 There is a 24/7 security force that hires Kiefer’s character “Ben” for the night-shift. What does he guard? A fire damaged, condemned monstrosity of an old building. There is no business, construction, or people near this building. I could not get over this ridiculousness. Throughout the entire film I am asking my sister, “Why the hell do they have to guard that place?” She ignored me.

#2 Ben has this large tattoo on the inside of his right arm. It looked like it could be words or symbols of some kind. We never find out anything about it, so why did he have one? Is it really a tattoo and not movie make-up? Jack Bauer never had a tattoo.

#3 I love the genre “Horror, Suspense/Thriller”. Not a big fan of “So Gross I can’t take it”. I can take a lot of gross stuff, so I went into this with no fear. Just when I am absorbed with the story (taking a break from protesting the guarding of a condemned building), I am suddenly confronted with something so heinous, that I catch myself gnashing my teeth, curling up into a ball, leaning away from the TV. My sister is actually is enjoying the movie – go figure.

#4 Ben’s estranged wife. This woman exposes her cleavage way too much for a mother of two and a coroner. Come on! If you’ve got to show some titties write in a hot girl next door or a hooker. Don’t insult real moms !

#5 The ending. Ben does not get to return to his busty wife and 2 kids. After all the horror he endured fighting against the evil thing in the mirrors, he should at least get laid.

Life as I know it

December 26, 2010December 23, 2010 ~ JodiLea

I have seen this view every day since August, and only recently I realized how incongruous it was. A cactus, palm tree, the ocean along the horizon, and a street light – all in the same landscape.

My life is like this. Priorities so diverse they belong on different to-do-lists and other people, thrown haphazardly into a mosaic. Leaving me to try to do something with it.

I am disturbed by how long it took me to notice this. Proof that my brain is too busy. Like how a computer processes sluggishly during a virus scan, my head always has several thoughts vying for attention.

Example: What will I blog about today? Do I need to refill any prescriptions… Need to look up the bugs ready to beta test… What time on Sunday are the 49ers playing… Oh – don’t forget to call Karen with today’s joke… Make that dentist appointment… Christian Kane is so damned HOT I can’t stand it… What rhymes with monster… I wish my sister would stop making that noise… Got to put that in the test plan… A nap sounds good, wish mom would take one so I could… What should I make for dinner… I wonder when Victor Newman will get what he deserves… Why am I so stuck on the middle of my novel… I need a pedicure and a facial… Put Liquid Plumber on the grocery list before I forget again… Hope my granddaughter loves the Christmas Dress I sent her…

All that and more in the 20 seconds it took to take the trash out. No wonder I become exhausted by the end of the day…

My camera’s auto feature did not know what the hell to focus on either. Sometimes it was the garden cherub, or the cactus. Other times the palm trees. They are actually two palms next to each other, not a double-headed one. For some reason, I was disappointed when I discovered the truth.

Like the photo, my life is interesting, if not ideal. My focus and outlook varies from day-to-day. I suspect I may have undiagnosed multiple personality disorder. I keep this fact to myself. People already find me a bit unsettling. Like the residential street light smack in the middle of a landscape.

A Gray Christmas

December 23, 2010December 23, 2010 ~ JodiLea

Seven days & nights of continuous rain. Heavy rain. Often accompanied by nasty blasting winds.

How dare Mother Nature. This is Southern California for crying out loud! I have not been able to relax on my private porch. I have not needed sunglasses in over a week! If I wanted to live like this I would move to Seattle.

I woke up smiling this morning because there was light coming in the window. And, the best part, cloudless patches of gorgeous blue sky playing peek-a-boo with the lingering grayness. Now, two hours later, the grayness wins out and all is gloomy again. I check the weather websites for hopeful news. Tomorrow and Saturday cloudy. More rain on Sunday.

Scotty! Beam me up and deposit me in Maui. Or shoot me. Something.

Snow would be a different story. It is magical and peaceful. I love watching it fall, especially at night. That kind of weather this time of year would be lovely. Even if the skies were gray it would be a White Christmas. Alas, Mother Nature only finds it in her heart to snow in southern California once every 50 years, and this is not one of them. The only snow I will see is the stuff falling on my blog.

This sunless gray world is turning me into a curmudgeon. I feel depressed, grumpy and tired. The kind of “leave-me-alone-don’t-bother-me-I-just-want-to-sleep” mood clings to me like the snails and worms on the porch seeking higher ground. YUCK! The fact that the house is festively decorated for Christmas, barely registers any response from me. Unless you count “Bah Humbug!” .