This addict diary series began in May of 2011 when I quit smoking. Every now and then I post an ‘update’ for self-therapy and interested followers…
Dear Diary & Dearest Readers,
Well, I have wanted to smoke lately. This is a warning signal that I’m becoming increasingly stressed. In the past, I would try to hide from stress with a martini and a cigarette (or two… or twenty…).
Once an addict, always an addict. My knee-jerk reaction to stress is nicotine. My brain knows it won’t help, but cell memory (and The Bitch) are calling me.
Don’t pick up that phone!
Whatever stress I have will pass – but one cigarette will lead to a thousand more. And I know what I’m talking about. I have personally researched this more than a few times, and I hope that you, smokers and non, can benefit from my experience.
Any new non-smokers struggling with The Bitch? Don’t be discouraged to hear she shows up even after 2-years. Her evil powers diminish as you gain time, but she keeps trying anyway. She’s a very stubborn Bitch.
Remember the “STOP THINKING!!” technique? So simple, and it really works. Try it yourself sometime to stop thoughts you should not dwell on. You don’t even have to throw a tantrum for it to work, but it is cathartic.
And fun too. 🙂
Stay tuned for uncommon reason’s to stay smoke-free…
Last weekend, my BFF and her hubby flew in from Missouri for a visit. While they were in the neighborhood, and had not seen Lake Tahoe in person, we planned an overnight excursion and booked a suite at the “Rustic Cottages“, in Tahoe Vista. We could not have found a cozier or friendlier place to be.
Emerald Bay
While exploring around Lake Tahoe, we were at a ‘Vista Point’ and saw Emerald Bay with its castle and private island. My BFF and her hubby are hiker’s, bicyclists, and campers. Once we found out that there was a trail you could hike down and tour the castle, those two were practically drooling.
If you know me, and some of you do – you know that mountain climbing is a really bad idea for clumsy and directionally challenged me. But you know how it is. Everyone else wants to go. And they are looking at you with pleading eyes.
Wanting to be spontaneous and fun, I hiked with them on the trail down the mountain to the bay. The trail was not straight down the mountain, so, it took a l o n g time to reach the shore below. The park ranger that took our $10 (?!) parking fee, told us that it was a mile long hike to the castle.
She lied.
The Castle
The mountain or the bay could have been a mile long, but the trail had many switchbacks and you could only see the section you were walking on unless you leaned over the edge. I was fine with that information passed from hubby. I did not have to see it for myself – I’m not from Missouri.
The castle was very cool, but I could not enjoy it fully because I had started to realize the danger I was in.
I knew I used all the carbohydrates in my body. And that was walking downhill. I would not be able to hike back up, unless I had some fast sugar and something to eat.
I won’t go into the details about insulin to carb ratio’s, or use any medical terms here, but the bottom line is that low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) is way more dangerous than high blood sugar. At least in the short-term.
That being said – I always carry a little juice box in my purse for when I need to raise my blood sugar in a hurry. However, four ounces of apple juice was not going to get me back up that trail, and our snacks were in the car, along with my bottle of water. After digging through my purse, I found 2 packages of ‘Smarties’ candy. Whew! I sucked on them as we began to climb.
It was embarrassing how often I had to find a place in the shade to rest. The high elevation in Tahoe did not help. It was a struggling and torturous climb for me. After absorbing the Smarties, I felt better and I could pick up my pace, but it was a brief repast.
Half-way into the ascent, I felt the symptoms of low blood sugar – I was nauseous, hot, shaky, weak, and irritable. Luckily, I kept myself from panicking. My BFF came to the rescue – by dumping out her purse and finding little boxes of ‘Nerds’ and a banana ‘Laffy-Taffy’. BTW: They tasted wonderful, even when eaten for medicinal purposes. And they probably saved my life. At the very least they saved me from seizure or coma.
I did make it up to the parking lot, and got home to blog another day. I am still kicking myself for not thinking things through. Diabetics that are ‘brittle‘ like I am, can’t be very spontaneous. It sucks, but that’s how it is.
Every meal, snack and activity has to be planned and prepared for. My daily supplies (insulin, needles, glucose monitor, and juice) must be calculated out for the expected itinerary, and packed with me when I travel. This girl can never ‘pack lightly’ again. I did not have enough juice/food with me, because I did not factor in a long hike that day.
Thank God I was not by myself!
Wait. a. minute…
If I was by myself, I would not have gone hiking in the first place… 😉
So, when those of you who know me well stop laughing, I will explain.
If you didn’t notice Not Pretending (to be sane) has been silent, no worries. Consider it a little vacation for your brain.
If you did notice a disturbance in the Force, please accept my humble apology. If it makes you feel any better, I have missed y’all. So much so, that I am writing a post when I should be doing chores. Today is my only ‘day off ‘ this week. The rest of this week, through the week-end, I am working at our local Quilter’s Guild’s annual Quilt Faire.
This is a HUGE to-do for us quilter’s. And a lot of work to get it together every year. Because it is the most elegant and fun Quilt Faire EVER! People keep telling us that and we, of course, believe them.
So… If I’m not actually working at the venue, I am home baking goodies to sell at our Country Store. A good thing I’m giving them away, since I shouldn’t eat them myself. To further prevent the ‘taste testing’ I may decide needs to be done, I baked a sugar-free cake for us to enjoy. I hope it’s big enough.
If I don’t make it to the grocery store today, it will be the only thing in the house to eat. Unless we want freezer-burned pot-pies or ‘Kid’s Cuisine’s’ that our granddaughter’s won’t even eat.
I am not even dressed yet and it’s embarrassingly close to lunchtime. However, that is not yours to worry about. In fact, if you have made it this far into possibly the most boring-est post ever, I commend you 😉
Those are my excuses reasons for not adhering to my Post A Day commitment. But, in the words of our former state Governor –
discouraged to hear she shows up even after 2-years. Her evil powers diminish as you gain time, but she keeps trying anyway. She’s a very stubborn Bitch.
purse, I found 2 packages of ‘Smarties’ candy. Whew! I sucked on them as we began to climb.
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