Tag: Humor

Humor is everywhere – open your eyes!

Resolutions: Renouncing Your Flaws

~ JodiLea

ThisYearIWillQuit  New Year’s Eve:  The night you are expected to give up something, to gain something else that you are pressured into wanting.

Let me explain – We are pressured to stop smoking (or whatever) by family members and well-meaning friends. Our smoking (addiction) comforts us, and we don’t want to give it up. We know that smoking does horrible things to our body. We know how expensive cigarettes are because we have to buy them. We have tried to quit before, and things went badly.

We are afraid to face life without smoking (or whatever).  We need to smoke – to feel calm, balanced and non-homicidal.  That is your frame of mind before you go to the New Years Eve party. Then when you are caught up in the moment, you (loudly) declare you will finally quit smoking. Everybody claps and cheers and you blush and take a deep bow.

You wake up and it’s January 1st. You may or may not have a hangover, but you are dragging butt just the same. Morning coffee and a cigarette will get you right again. Suddenly, you remember that you vowed to quit smoking, while dramatically tossing your last pack into the fireplace.  You curse yourself for wasting cigarettes like that.

You manage to stay quit 2 more hours before running to the nearest 7-11 and buying a few packs. Possibly some chocolate also, to help ease the guilt of letting yourself and others down. What a depressing way to start a new year!

That is why I will not make any new year’s resolutions tomorrow. (Is that a resolution?) I want to start the new year off positively.

And I need to figure out how to do that – by tomorrow 😉

Stay tuned….
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photo credit: Lester Public Library via photopin cc

2012: The Year of Everything (at once)

~ JodiLea

2012-header

How many life-changing events did you have this year?
I’ll spare you the “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times” sentimental summary of 2012.  I already bitched posted about the details, as they occurred.

  • Preparing home of 24 years to sell
  • Death of my only sibling
  • Retiring from my day job
  • Diagnosed with a “leaky valve“. (What am I – a car?)
  • Moved from a city in the SF Bay Area, to a remote town in the lower Sierra mountains.

If you’re new to Not Pretending, the links above should satisfy any curiosity you may have. And a very hearty welcome from me, BTW  😉

All 5 events occurred between April and July. I don’t remember much of August at all. September-November were a blur. When I began to settle down into my life – the  Holidays showed up. Whee!  The last of our kids left yesterday. Now I need to gear up to “organization level” energy, but a head-cold is sucking it out of me.

It’s snowing every few days now.  This is my fault, as most of you already know. I’ve dreamed of a white Christmas all year, and I definitely got one. I love watching the snow fall.  I can’t imagine anyone getting tired of watching it. I can imagine getting tired of shoveling and driving in it, and I’m happy I don’t have to!

I bought a 20.6 pound turkey and 10 pounds of potatoes (sweet and russet), so we can live on Christmas dinner if we get trapped up here a few days. In fact, it is supposed to snow later today. ..

2013 will arrive in 2.5 days, and soon 2012 will only be memories. It seems like I just said that about 2011. Time really does speed up the older you get.

A happy & prosperous New Year to everyone!

Next Year’s Christmas Present (to myself)

~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

XMAS_BAR

While I was creating the traditional Christmas Feast this week, I thought about many things, especially the following three:

Number one: This is a lot of  f*#$@!! work.

Number two: I am tired of doing all this  f*#$@!!  work.

Number three: Why do I keep doing this every  f*#$@!!  year?

The matriarch of the family is stuck with responsible for all that is Christmas. She is expected to feed everyone, on every major holiday. I loved cooking all day and watching my family play games and have fun with each other. I am so over that now.     

This matriarch wants to play, have fun, and relax for a change. Sit in a cushy chair knitting, while listening to the stories her children tell each other about their lives. Take a nap for an hour when the younger set does (i.e., while everything is quiet).

Two of our three children have not invited us over for holiday festivities. Ever. I imagine it never occurred to them to do so, since they have not invited us over – period.  Wait – I take that back.  They did host a family BBQ once in the summer of 2009.  They did a fabulous job too.  I know that they could out-do my Turkey Loco recipe, which, BTW,  uses a grill, where real men cook.

Don’t tell anyone, but I think I’m wearing out. I just can’t do it anymore.  I hate that I’m weaker physically now, and have “chronic conditions” requiring a plethora of prescriptions and doctor appointments. I’m way too young to be this OLD!

So, dear kids…  Consider this your advanced notice: I’m going to take the year 2013 off.

Feel free to use our kitchen/BBQ, but Thanksgiving and Christmas feasting (traditional or not) will have to be coordinated and prepared by anyone but me.

If a feast does not get coordinated, do not expect me, in the eleventh hour, to whip one together.

Just saying.  😉

 !SNOWMAN