Me vs. MS Word

Future Cookbook

You know you’re in trouble when the Help menu – doesn’t.

I have taken MS Word classes and I have gone crawling to the Help menu many times.

I still cannot get my cookbook’s headers and footers to format correctly. Instead of doing a “work-around” (modern word for what my grandpa called jerry-rigging), I refuse to move on to Plan B. Which means I’m stubbornly frustrating the crap out of myself. I hate it when I do this. Yet here I am.

As soon as I heard about the NaNoWriMo thing (National Novel Writing Month), I got excited because this could really get me moving. Unfortunately, I also got blocked. I have not been able to think of any ideas to write about in my blog, so how could I write a novel?  My confidence is shot, and I blame MS Word for this because I am spending way too much of my writing time surfing the web for forums, articles, anything that will explain to me how I can fix this mess I call a Cookbook.

Hope your weekend has been more productive.   At least the 49er’s were productive this morning and we are 7-1 now! Maybe I’ll sneak in a nap now while hubby and buddy are hogging the TV watching NASCAR (YUCK!), and maybe I’ll dream about something good to write a novel about.  It could happen.  Either way I need the sleep…

😉

Taking Baers to the ZOO

No, my spell-check is not broken. I’m talking about the 4 Baer’s; my daughter, her hubby, and my 2 granddaughters. Last weekend they talked  me and hubby into going to take them to the San Francisco Zoo.

Neither me or hubby wanted to spend an entire day walking around looking at smelly animals, but alas, we were out voted.

It has been many, many years since I went to the zoo ( my 30-year old daughter was 6 the last time), and we went to the zoo closest to us. I thought it was a very fine zoo. People tell me “Oh, the one in San Francisco is so much better!”  Maybe 24 years ago it was the best zoo in California, but I don’t think it is now.

My footDon’t get me wrong – we had fun. The granddaughters loved it and I took a ton of pictures. Some of them were blurry (animals move you know). Most were good photos, even the ones of the ground.

One of my issues with the SF Zoo: Where are the Elephants?

Not even one elephant. Lots of farm animals. Goats, pigs, sheep, and a donkey. But no elephant. I had a lot of trouble getting over that. One week later and I’m still puzzling about it. But let’s move on…

Our first surprise was at the ticket booth. Tickets and parking added up to $77. This is not Disneyland, people. It’s the ZOO!.

Shy GiraffeThe first animal we saw was a giraffe. Well, we saw a spotted neck with a clump of leaves instead of a head, but we figured this to be a giraffe.

We were right. Can’t fool me even after 24 years 😉

I can’t tell a male giraffe from a female one, but I would bet it was female because she was snooty and turned her back on us. Giraffe Leaving

She went over to visit a smaller giraffe that was in a cage.  As she lumbered along, it reminded me of the Brontosaurus (or Veggiesaurus if you prefer) from Jurassic Park.

Momma Visiting Baby                                        .   Could this be Brandon the baby giraffe and his mommy? Probably.

In the background? A goat of course. They were hanging out with the giraffes. I noticed other species with odd roommates.

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Peacocks hung out with practically everybody. We must have seen a dozen of them, and not one of them would show off his plumage. I guess they don’t show off unless peahens are around, and they were off sitting on eggs or something.  Peacock

We spent a lot of time with the prairie dogs. Not really exotic zoo animals, but helluva lot of fun to watch. My 18 month-old granddaughter fell in love with them and did not want to move along.                 . Prairie Dogs Facinate Chloe

Prairie Dog Talking on cellEven these little guys have little cell phones..

Most of the animals in the zoo seemed sad to me, so I really enjoyed watching the prairie dogs and the meerkats. You couldn’t help but laugh out loud at their antics.

Mercats Lazing AboutNot sure if we saw the family of meerkats playing possum, or taking a snooze in the sun.

Mercat King                                 This guy must be King of the Meerkats. Or thinks he is.

Well, I could go on (and on, and on…) and give you the blow-by-blow account of our day at the zoo. But I won’t. I have more cool pictures, but they can wait until another post.

I have not posted anything in a few days because I have not been inspired by anything except my grandkids and who wants to read that?  Also, I have caught up on all the blogs I follow and I spend all my writing time reading, then I don’t have the time to write.

Sometimes I just need to step back and see my life and the world around me. Take a deep breath. Stop pushing myself to do, do, do every minute of the day. Take a trip to the zoo.

Even if there are no elephants.

Diary of a Nicotine Addict: Month 5

October 20th, 2011 – 5 months clean

Dear Diary,
I am losing my mind. I can’t get cigarettes out of my stupid head.

Addiction Poster
The Bitch

Lately I think about smoking often throughout the day. The Bitch (my addiction), has been relentless and I feel my stamina eroding. Month 2 was not this bad. I started feeling sorry for myself a couple of weeks ago. Now I’m becoming resentful and bitter. Such fun to be around me.

I have been down this road before and I recognize the self-destructive thoughts and behaviors that come before a relapse. No matter how stubborn I am, no amount of “will-power” is going to save me. The only reason I have not bought a pack of Virginia Slims Menthol this week is not wanting to smoke around my granddaughter – she would not only nag me, but tattle on me as well. There are also a lot of folks rooting for me that I don’t want to disappoint.

I could enjoy one and I’d be able to focus… One with my morning cup of coffee to clear my head… Just a couple drags won’t be a big deal… No one will have to know…

In the substance abuse world, those thoughts are called “romancing the drug” and I have been brought down by their lies before. I can fight back with the STOP technique and remain fairly sane.

What I fear the most are the darker thoughts that come when my defenses are weak and something upsets me: To Hell with this… I can’t fight this anymore… No one gives a shit about what I do, unless they don’t like it…

The official term for this is “having the fuck-its”. (My doctor uses this term so it must be official)  It is the most dangerous emotional state of mind for anyone to be in, but it can mean life or death to an addict.

If you arrive at the fuck-its take action immediately! Stop thinking and call a friend, get out of the house, take a break from work. Stay home in your jammies and read a good book or watch soaps. Pamper yourself. Sleep. Meditate. Pray. If you’re hyperactive (like I am) take advantage and clean your house, cupboards, something. Anything but give up!

I know this is easy to say, and nearly impossible to do, when you are pissed off at everything and tired of fighting with yourself and your addiction. I have personal experience with the fuck-its. I relapsed back into a pack-a-day habit after being clean for 10-years. 10 years!

I am not trying to frighten or lecture here. Only want to pass on what I’ve learned in case it could help someone else. And of course to vent, whine and dis The Bitch while I’m at it.

😉