It is a known fact (many witnesses/victims) that if you allow Jodi (me) to select tonight’s movie (from Netflix, On-Demand, or whatever) the odds of your viewing a “B” or “C” movie are 99.5%. Twenty minutes into the film you realize there has been a horrible mistake, but alas, you made the commitment and it’s too late now to pick another one from the list.

My sister must have temporarily forgotten this and she let me pick out a movie to watch while we waited for the Ball to drop New Year’s Eve. Hey, in my defense, the description of the movie was interesting. It starred Keifer Sutherland and not Mr. NeverHeardOfHim.  It had to be a good movie if Keifer was in it!

No, it doesn’t.

• MIRRORS
• Release Date: Aug 15, 2008
• Rated R: Extreme Violence, Adult Language, Brief Nudity
• Run-time: 1 hr. 51 min.
• Genres: Horror, Suspense/Thriller
• Director:Alexandre Aja
• Cast: Kiefer Sutherland, Paula Patton, Amy Smart, Mary Beth Peil, Cameron Boyce.

Let me explain why I did not like it:

#1 There is a 24/7 security force that hires Kiefer’s character “Ben” for the night-shift. What does he guard? A fire damaged, condemned monstrosity of an old building.  There is no business, construction, or people near this building.  I could not get over this ridiculousness. Throughout the entire film I am asking my sister, “Why the hell do they have to guard that place?”  She ignored me.

#2 Ben has this large tattoo on the inside of his right arm. It looked like it could be words or symbols of some kind. We never find out anything about it, so why did he have one? Is it really a tattoo and not movie make-up? Jack Bauer never had a tattoo.

#3  I love the genre “Horror, Suspense/Thriller”.  Not a big fan of  “So Gross I can’t take it”.  I can take a lot of gross stuff, so I went into this with no fear. Just when I am absorbed with the story (taking a break from protesting the guarding of a condemned building), I am suddenly  confronted with something so heinous, that I catch myself gnashing my teeth, curling up into a ball, leaning away from the TV.  My sister is actually is enjoying the movie – go figure.

#4 Ben’s estranged wife. This woman exposes her cleavage way too much for a mother of two and a coroner. Come on! If you’ve got to show some titties write in a hot girl next door or a hooker. Don’t insult real moms !

#5 The ending. Ben does not get to return to his busty wife and 2 kids. After all the horror he endured fighting against the evil thing in the mirrors, he should at least get laid.