Ranting About Remakes

I decided to boycott remakes.   100x100_neverend

They (meaning Hollywood big-shots and producers) are taking our favorite movies, and screwing them over.  Do they need more screenplays? I have a couple in the works – where do I send them?  Something needs to be done to stop this insanity!

For example, I saw a movie I wanted to watch listed on the cable menu, and I set it up to record. When I start to watch the recording,  I realize that it’s a remake of the film I wanted to watch. This spikes my blood pressure.  Footloose without Kevin Bacon and Christopher Penn is like  The King and I without Yul Brenner. Oh, wait, they remade that film too. They call it Anna and the King. Like that’s going to fool anyone.

When Walt Disney re-released classics like Bambi to a new generation, they were the same movies you watched with your daughter, and she with hers. That makes family traditions that reach across generations. When the family talks about Bambi, we are all talking about the same movie.

100x100_three_men_and_a_baby  The number of re-makes in the past couple of years astonishes me. And I’m not talking about the re-makes of A Christmas Carol or new Star Trek movies. Nor am I talking about the classics. They are re-making movies that debuted in the 1980’s. Perfectly good movies that don’t need to be  remade.

Just because people liked the film does not mean it needs to be made again by someone thinking they can re-do a good thing and make money off of it.  People must be going to the theater to see these copy-cat movies, because  re-makes are being thrown out at us from every genre.

I researched  (OK, I did a Google search for “remake movies”), and discovered that Hollywood is remaking some of my very favorite films in the near future. I refuse to watch ANY of these debaucheries.

I put together a list of movies being remade soon or for 2015 release. I was astonished. Perturbed. Pissed. Ready to write a letter pissed.

Read it and weep…

  • War Games
  • Commando
  • Poltergeist
  • Drop Dead Fred
  • Overboard
  • Porky’s (a more tasteful version?)
  • The Orphanage
  • Soap Dish
  • Stephen King’s It
  • Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
  • Honey I Shrunk the Kids
  • The Never-ending Story
  • Flight of the Navigator
  • The Wild Bunch
  • Cliff Hanger
  • Three Men and a Baby
  • House Party
  • Videodrome
  • Endless Love
  • About Last Night
  • Agent 47
  • Fantastic Four
  • The Harder They Come
  • Police Academy
  • Dirty Dancing
  • Escape From New York
  • Fletch
  • Highlander
  • National Lampoon’s Vacation
  • Short Circuit
  • Pet Semetary
  • Scarface
  • Time Bandits
  • Romancing the Stone
  • Weird Science
  • The Toxic Avenger
  • Godzilla
  • Gremlins
  • Jumanji
  • Van Helsing
  • The Monster Squad
  • Annie
  • An American Werewolf in London

See what I mean!

A website shows 20 of these films and gives details about the remake and the actors being cast. I read a few of these and things are WAY worse than I thought. If you are prone to depression – do not go there!

I’m serious.

The Future is (gulp) Now!

While waiting for the crystal ball to drop last night, my family had a Back to the Future marathon. It had been some time since I watched the three Back2TheFutureclassics and I laughed my butt off – not figuratively, which is unfortunate.

In the second movie, the time machine went into the far future – the year 2015. Whoa! Wait a minute. That’s NEXT year.

When Marty McFly went back to 1955 the first time, I was 27 years old. A single working mom who could barely think past the next  weekend, let alone into the future. The year 2015 was a science fictional number to me, not a year I would likely experience myself. I did not bother to do the math, that’s how far away it seemed.

Now 2015 is around the corner. If 2014 passes as quickly as 2013 did, then we are practically there already!

So… where are the hover boards and flying cars? Houses that speak to you? The scenery channel? If the police find you passed out in an alley do they take you home? Would re-hydrated food disks taste right?  Could all this happen by next year?


But I think that’s a good thing, since I’m having enough difficulty keeping up with the changes as it is.

How about YOU?  😉

Meet Herbie, My Green Monster

Note: I did not title this post: My Little Green Monster.
My Green Monster has not, nor will ever be, little. If it’s true that jealousy feeds on itself, growing bigger, then Herbie (my green monster) must weigh 300 pounds by now.

I am always in the company of Herbie. I named him because my brain grew tired of thinking “my green monster”. I have a pretty tired brain. Herbie (and I) envy everyone and everything.  I manage to hide it pretty well (or so I think). I would hate for people to know just how shallow I really am. I certainly would not want this getting out on the internet. Ha.

It’s like this – I compare myself to everyone I meet, and I find myself lacking. Not only does this torture my self-esteem, but it’s exhausting. I have lived with the belief that if only I were pretty, everything would be OK. I would have self-esteem, confidence and more compassion. And yes, I’ll admit it, I’d get more positive attention.

In our defense, we don’t become insanely jealous. That is strange in itself, considering. I don’t shoot daggers out of my eyes at people, and we haven’t broken the law trying to steal stuff we want. Herbie is more of a pacifist. He likes to admire in people the things that I want, but cannot have. Things like a flawless complexion. Full lips. Large breasts I would flaunt at hubby – to see if I could lure him out of his shop, or just to be a brat.

Stuff like that.

We do not limit our envy to physical beauty – oh no! Herbie and I admire character, principles, bravery, honesty. We get misty eyed when we read something humorous, deeply moving, or impacting – wishing that I could write something that good.

We are suckers for romantic gestures and puppies. We are jealous of those who get to have one, and envious of those who have both. The typical “have and have not” scenario Herbie and I live with every day, in spite of all the therapy.

We hate that real-life isn’t life in the movies. Romantic comedy’s, that is. Not those vampire or zombie movies, which would, literally, suck.

photo credit: Daniel Ferenčak via photopin cc