Tid Bits & Giggles Thursday

Hi y’all!

I almost peed my pants when I read this in our local newspaper yesterday:


Of course the headline caught my eye right away. I thought at first it was a fishing derby. Carp and Snapper fishermen have tournaments, right? I apologize to the Union Democrat for assuming they made a hysterical typo.

Then… I read further and saw that crapper was not a typo.

That was when I lost it completely.

Who the heck in the Twain Harte Rotary Club thought this one up?  I think I like them very much  🙂

This Could Be News…

Americans Elect an 11th-Hour President!

The majority of American voters chose to cast their vote for write-in candidate; Sir Harry Potter, giving him the largest margin of electorial votes. Both democrats and republicans passed over their party’s nominated candidate, hoping to have a true non-partisan president at last. “We’re sick of America’s political machine and the ‘good ‘ol boy’s’ network”, explained one voter.

And having access to a bit of magic can’t hurt either.

When interviewed, former President Obama demanded to see Potter’s birth certificate. A spokesman for Mitt Romney said the republican candidate was laughing too hard to comment.

Painting of Harry PotterSir Potter, announced that he was both surprised and honored to be elected as the 44th President of the United States

The swearing-in ceremony will be held January 2013.




© non-associated Press

photo credit: Axell [www.axellweb.com] via photo pin cc

Wait! Aren’t these the Olympic Games-

And not high school sports? A Fallen Hurdle

I was speechless (and you know how rare that is…) when I read Steven Atwood‘s article supporting Lolo Jones.

I have taped the Olympic Games  since they started. Because hubby & I are trying to settle in to our new home, we have not been watching “live” or seen most of the events yet. I had no clue about Lolo’s publicity (most would call it media bashing), until now.

I am so confused.

To my knowledge, our country (and the media)  is diplomatic towards athletes competing for other countries. So now are we making fun of our very own?  Why are we tearing apart athletes that don’t crank out medals for the USA? These men and women are already crushed about this. They don’t need to read about how or why they “failed”. Failed? They made it to the OLYMPICS for crying out loud. Have you, ever?  In my book they have already made this country proud. And you shouldn’t try to take that away from them.

Shame on you!

I have some breaking news for the American press – Athletes are human beings too. They make mistakes, they have good and bad days, and even if they have a Gold medal they are nowhere even close to perfect.  Let’s say your middle-school English teacher got on the evening news and exposed your literary flaws and horrible spelling to the world? At one point she says, ” <your name here> was so awful at writing I thought English was a second language to him/her.”

Now people are laughing. They aren’t thinking “Wow! Look how much he/she worked to overcome illiteracy”. Of course the morning newspaper spreads the story, and your family members all over the country are now reading this. Colleagues give you a bunch of crap about it to amuse themselves, and the New York Times is digging up all kinds of skeletons in your backyard.

How are YOU feeling about now? Abused? Unappreciated? Wanting to bash the media – with a club?

Oops! Sorry about this rant, but I spontaneously combusted this morning – it could be the 103F temperatures we are having, or maybe this subject is too close to my heart. I ran track in high school. And, I loved running the hurdles. I sailed over them gracefully during practice, but would choke during the event. Coach explained to me that because I was so nervous, and my muscles so tight that I had to struggle to get over a hurdle and it destroyed my rhythm.

I had no idea the muscles he was talking about were my vaginal muscles.   I would have blushed for the rest of the school year had I known.  Good thing I was naïve, as well as a virgin…

photo credit: aurelie_solenne via photo pin cc