I Think I’m Going to Make it

It was touch and go the last couple of weeks, but I was determined to put makeup on and model my new hat.  Mary Kay cosmetics can do wonders, but not miracles.  I still look puffy and bruised.  I still have black eyes.  All caused by the massive wound on my head and the reconstructive surgery afterward. four weeks later and I still have a throbbing headache, raw nerve endings, and tweaks of pain.

“That is all normal during the recovery process,” they tell me. ” You will be feeling all kinds of weird things while you heal.” No kidding. And these “weird things” HURT LIKE A MOTHER. There is a major drug problem in this state (California). Doctors no longer prescribe pain medications that work. Extra Strength Tylenol is all the surgeon would give me. Apparently, doctors are being regulated so much about pain meds that the paperwork, liability, and legal bologna are just not worth it. To them.

I plan to write a letter to our district Congressman, Tom McClintock, and tell him that all these anti-drug regulations are preventing medical patients from getting effective treatment.  I will be sure to mention that this is forcing little old ladies to search out dealers on the street.  How is that helping the war on drugs?

Oh dear, I have digressed a bunch! I was talking about being depressed and wanting out of it, right? Sheesh. A very dark day for me – until I counted my blessings.  That took the better part of the day to get to 3,500,000 and 2. When I was finished, guess what? I felt so much better. It always works. Gratitude. That and a loving God who sends an angel to ‘kick my butt’ so to speak, and remind me to focus on what I have, instead of what I don’t or can’t have.

Today I think I will do some Spring cleaning.  I get my iPod playing and lose myself in the work.  I always end up singing along.  It calms my dog.  And my plants like it (so I’ve been told).  If Hubby is out in his shop, I really let loose.  It is so freeing.

♥  TTFN  ♥




Warning: No Longer Medicated For Your Protection

toothacheI was medicated for your protection (and my pain). For 3 days. Like bone graft surgery on your jaw is all done and happy after a mere three days. The instructions tell you to only eat soft foods for 7-10 days. That should have given me a clue that my oral surgeon was skimping on me. Big Time.

With only 3-days worth of pain killers you do not want to eat anything on day 4 – except a whole bottle of Advil. The swelling alone took ice-packs, Advil, and 7-days to subside. I can barely open my mouth to get a spoonful of yogurt or jello down my throat. Chewing is a fond memory. Oh sure, ‘just chew on the opposite side’ you say. Unfortunately, you can put food in the opposite side, but chewing involves the entire jaw. Which, by the way, HURTS LIKE AN SOB.

[Sorry for yelling. If it makes you feel any better, it was painful to do so.]

I have bummed narcotics from family and friends, like a junkie. I am not proud of this, but it is what it is.

When it comes to pain, I’m not a weenie. Yet hour upon hour, turning day after day of throbbing pain, wears my patience and bravado down to a wispy, thin thread that stretches between insanity and homicide.

And life in general is not taking it easy on me during my time of need, either. Today in the mail I got another ‘delinquent bill’ for hubby’s lab tests done in July. JULY! I believed that my calling, emailing, and finally going to the hospital, had straightened out the error, because an entire month went by without a bill, statement, or phone call.

I can really be naïve. The scary thing is that hubby has had other lab tests ordered and done in August and October. I have not gotten any statements for these, but I know they will be coming along, pissing me off all over again, because our insurance has not been billed. This same hospital lab has no problem billing my lab work. It is only hubby’s account that is in some way screwed up.

I almost feel sorry for whoever works in the billing department of a certain hospital. The chances of me waking up pain-free tomorrow are not good… 😦
photo credit: Bosc d’Anjou via photopin cc