Tag: postaday2011

A Joke For You

~ JodiLea

Airplane LandingI get a lot of email with Re:FWD:Re:FWD:FWD:FWD.. as the Subject. Sometimes a cute joke will come my way and I pass along the ones that make me laugh out loud. [This one is from my cuz-in-law, Shar]

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A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston ”

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business role at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to have that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you.  I don’t even know your name.”

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba.”

And the Winner is…

~ JodiLea

.Best Oscar MomentsThe Oscars are this Sunday. They used to be in late March every year, but now they move around. One thing that never changes – they are always on a school night. For many years I would record them so my daughter and I could watch them together at a more convenient time. The element of surprise was ruined by newspapers and radio of course, but the winners were only a small part of the fun anyway.

It takes 3 VHS tapes to capture all the magic. The Oscar Pre-Shows and Red Carpet walks are a big part of our Oscar watching tradition. We became the self-appointed fashion police (as we curled up on the couch in our pajamas, munching popcorn). No designer gown or hair-do would pass without our critique.

Many hours Ooh-ing, Ahh-ing and giggling like loonies (thank you, Bjork!) were had. I began to treasure our annual tradition as my daughter grew up. Even in the most gloomy throes of our mother-daughter relationship, the Oscars transcended it all and became a “quality time” shared between us.

This year will be tough. I am down here (Southern CA) and she is up there (Northern CA), so the Oscars will have to be aired in late March, compliments of my DVR. I’m OK with that. I already know who the winner is. Me!!

Blogging Under the Influence

~ JodiLea
Articulation of the mandible. Medial aspect.
Image via Wikipedia

Not recommended.

Doing anything related to the Internet while under the influence of something (other than muse) is a VERY BAD IDEA.

So, why the heck am I writing this today? I should go to bed and read a book, or watch HBO. But no, I am here writing a new post, telling YOU not to do what I am doing now. How hypocritical of me.  I have a feeling I’m going to regret this tonight.

For the past month I have dealt with some very serious pain. Temporal-mandibular joint (TMJ) issues. My physical therapist suggested I ask my doctor to prescribe a pain-killer & muscle relaxant. I picked them up this afternoon. To be nearly pain-free for the first time in weeks is exhilarating. I want to write. I want to crochet. I even want to write-up documentation for work.

But I can’t. Because my brain is fuzzy. Yes, I know, but even more than usual. I have to squint my eyes around bright lights, so I have my laptop actually in my lap, sitting on the couch because the light over the kitchen table was too bright and the glare was starting to piss me off..

I catch myself staring at nothing. My eyelids are heavy. I think I need another nap. I have fallen asleep three times since starting this post.

I can only imagine how bored YOU must be….