Get Your Grump On

August 17, 2026 ~ JodiLea ~ Leave a comment

Some days, no matter what you do, are frustrating, maddening, and emotional.
Everything in your life is falling apart, and you just can’t take it anymore. You want to hide in your room and not deal with anything. You want to give up the fight. You keep running into that brick wall, and the only dents you make are on yourself.

You are told, “Snap out of it!” “Go back to bed and get up on the right side.” “Suck it up.” “Get over yourself.” Oh, and my personal favorite (not), “Call a Whaaambulance.”

Obviously, ranting to others does nothing to help you. I used to think that “getting it off your chest” helped you mentally. It does. But only if you rant to yourself. YOU are the only one you can trust to know exactly what you mean, not be judgmental, or get offended. I keep two journals. One is my everyday diary and prayer book. The other one? That is my black book of rants, resentments, and evil thoughts.

What!?! You have evil thoughts?
Oh, you bet I do.

I came across my black book two days ago while cleaning out my dresser. I decided not to read any of it at the time. Very few people know about the black book, and none have ever seen or heard its contents. In fact, I try not to read past entries myself. Why go through it again? I need to expel the current demons and return the black book to its shelf when I finish, so it can be taken from its place when needed. Usually, months go by without even thinking about the black book. In very bad times, the book is not reshelved for days.

I have not written anything new for years. Not that my life is perfect. I keep the book because knowing it’s there, ready to listen, helps me cope. I have hundreds of journals, diaries, and prayer books. I do not have any other black books. One seems to be enough. If you struggle with resentments or can’t let go of bad feelings, you should try this method. For me, it allows me to think/say exactly how I feel about whatever or whoever. I can be as vicious and nasty as I need to be with my black book. If I were venting to a friend, I could not be as free to let it all out. I would edit myself. Pull punches, hold back.

Today, after attending my quilt guild’s meeting, I realized that I need to check out that little black book. The deadline for show entries is next week, and I am already being bombarded with special requests. I love my fellow quilters. So I want to be diplomatic when I tell them that they are not special enough to change the rules for. The only way I can be kind and patient is to yell at them in the book and get it out of my system. Page after page of rants and evil thoughts will be written. That, and the subconscious growling.

TTFN

Rant Against the Machine

May 21, 2024May 21, 2024 ~ JodiLea

A person can only take so much negativity. This is why I declared today a day of rest. All month, I have been fighting one entity or another – every single day. I am bone weary, not to mention grumpy. Tired and grumpy are never good in combination, so I have decided on desperate measures.

If you are easily emotional or having troubles of your own, perhaps you will want to read this another time. Then again, if you need to work yourself up into a good rant, let me help you get started…

The month started out having to deal with drugs. I mean the prescription kind, and the pharmacies and insurance companies you have to deal with to get them. I have been taking many drugs to keep me alive for years. I am used to being notified that my doctor is not responding to their query for information before they refill something. The pharmacy wants me to contact the doctor and do the legwork. Sure, I have nothing else to do. Isn’t that their job?

Last year, hubby had to hook up with Rx insurance and the mail-order pharmacy for his sudden need for multiple prescriptions. He is not used to this drill, so I became his nurse of sorts and got him all set up with the Rx world we deal with. I thought, after 6 months, I had it under control, but I began to sort out his meds for the month and discovered he didn’t get one of the Rx’s refilled. Grrr! So now I spend the entire day tracking down the Rx, requesting a refill, and so on. I planned to do other things that day, but those things carry over to tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes, but now I have to deal with other companies mistakes I am notified of in the mail I picked up at the post office. Sigh. Can’t anyone do their job correctly anymore?

Last week, I made the mistake of calling our cable company’s customer support number. I wanted them to remove some of the 200 channels we got because our bill was completely outrageous. After winding my way through their “audio assistant,” I finally was connected to a real person. He, Robert, was in Colorado and got my bill lowered. Great!

However, looking over the contract later, I discovered one costly thing he forgot to remove. I spend the next morning chatting with Ashmed in India. We had a fun time, he spoke beautiful English. Unfortunately, I don’t believe he understood my English very well. He removed the package that Robert forgot but removed all but 10 of the channels. Hubby was not pleased, and the next day I called again (3rd times the charm?) and spoke to Val. Val is in the Philippines. She went over our package with a fine tooth comb and gave us discounts we should have had in place already, and discovered we were paying for two phone lines and we only had one number.

I was gone most of the day yesterday, so I have not checked that the channels she added back were actually viewable. Frankly, I’m afraid to check. I mean, what are the odds?

These issues are only the ones going on for days. Until last night. The Pharmacy shipped out my insulin (2-day Ground, packed in ice) on May 15th. It arrived last night (6 days later.) I knew something was wrong when I took out the icepack – it was warm. All the packs were warm, and so was the insulin. It was completely unusable. I paid $105 for ruined insulin (they yank it out of my bank account as soon as it’s shipped. That never seems to malfunction for some reason.) Grrr.

So, this is why I will tuck myself in on the couch and sleep, maybe watch TV if I feel up to that. As soon as I get off the pharmacy’s website after sending a message to their customer support people. Sigh.

TTFN

Junkyard Days

February 3, 2024February 3, 2024 ~ JodiLea

We all have them. Days when we feel useless and broken. We are sad. We want to just stay in our pajamas and read or watch TV. We want to forget how we are not progressing on our “to-do” list and feel guilty.

Like today, for example. The weather is cloudy and cold. The clouds are gray and thick, not allowing the sunshine through. Gloomy. Housework needs to be done, and meals planned. Guess what? I do not care. I only feel like cleaning when it’s sunny. It’s no fun to plan meals that you cannot eat. Who am I kidding? It is NEVER fun to plan meals, especially when the people you cook for answer your question, “What do you want for dinner?” with one of three answers:
1. I don’t know, 2. I don’t care, or 3. Whatever.

Two can play that game. When he comes in from his shop and asks, “What’s for dinner?” I could give him one of the 3 answers and see how he likes it. That would be fun but, at the same time, in bad taste. I am trying hard to be gracious instead of sarcastic, to be kind and not snotty. In a nutshell – this is very difficult for me.

_{Let Me Introduce You to My Inner Child}

Rest assured, long-time readers, that graciousness and kindness only extend to humans and their pets. I will write a sarcastic and snotty letter to the Utility company when warranted. It’s what I love to do. I just can’t help it. It’s not only Utility Companies and Government Agencies that force me to rant. I have been dealing with a situation in the past couple of weeks that you will soon hear about, I am sure.

I am too embroiled in it to take the time to rant today. Even though it is a particularly Junkyardy day.