An Open Letter to My Addiction (a.k.a. The Bitch)

Dear Bitch,

Two years and three months have gone by without smoking a cigarette. My lungs can take some hiking now, and my asthma is like a childhood memory.

I smell pretty now – instead of like an ashtray.

I rarely think about smoking anymore, and when I do, I think how great it is to be free from nicotine.

And, then, from out of nowhere comes a flashback of lighting up and taking a drag. My subconscious grabs this image and decides, “a cigarette would be so good now!”

But I am wise to the sneaky-assed tactics you use to manipulate my mind. You are clever, I’ll give you that. You have all my buttons memorized and on your speed-dial.

English: Image of the insulaYou can even get me to question what I know is the truth. How you torture me!

Is your real name Insula? I have read that damage to the Insula in the brain will stop addiction to cigarette smoking. Well. Isn’t that special?  Deep down I think I suspected this all along…

In order to get rid of you once and for all, I must have a lobotomy.

You truly ARE a Bitch!!

A Reason For Everything

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Genie's Lamp

Do things happen for a reason? I know they do.

Most of the time we try to control our own little world right in front of us, with no clue of what is going on in the Big Picture. We filter the world through our own perspective and experience, the only way we can, being human and all. When things don’t go the way we plan or want them to,we get frustrated

Nothing ever seems to go the way I envision or plan it. Which has been a good thing most of the time. I do not realize my good fortune in the moment. The ‘Ah-Ha’ occurs to me later, usually accompanied by an outcome much better than I envisioned or planned. This tells me that there are forces at work here, more intelligent and resourceful than I. Some call this force Coincidence, some call it Fate.

There is no such thing as Coincidence. And Fate is when the Big Picture (meant to be) falls into place. I call this intelligent and resourceful force God. His ways are only mysterious because we mere humans can’t figure them out.

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t believe that God Himself grants me the perfect parking spot, the fast line at the supermarket, or stretches out the laundry soap to last through this weeks dirty clothes. He is way too busy with important stuff.

I believe that everyone has a guardian angel that oversees the day-to-day crap we get ourselves into. Every night when I say my prayers I ask God to give my angel a raise. He really deserves one. One example: I am a major Klutz who has never had a broken bone in her life.

In fact, I think I will blog a tribute to him tomorrow…