This Could Be News…

Americans Elect an 11th-Hour President!

The majority of American voters chose to cast their vote for write-in candidate; Sir Harry Potter, giving him the largest margin of electorial votes. Both democrats and republicans passed over their party’s nominated candidate, hoping to have a true non-partisan president at last. “We’re sick of America’s political machine and the ‘good ‘ol boy’s’ network”, explained one voter.

And having access to a bit of magic can’t hurt either.

When interviewed, former President Obama demanded to see Potter’s birth certificate. A spokesman for Mitt Romney said the republican candidate was laughing too hard to comment.

Painting of Harry PotterSir Potter, announced that he was both surprised and honored to be elected as the 44th President of the United States

The swearing-in ceremony will be held January 2013.

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© non-associated Press

photo credit: Axell [www.axellweb.com] via photo pin cc

Party’s? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Party’s!

American Eagle

Election years suck!

I wish they would get rid of campaigning. What a total waste of resources! Billions spent on TV ads, travel costs for not only the candidates, but the current President as well. Tons of junk mail.  Worst of all, those ridiculous auto-calling recordings you get bombarded with every day!

Since I vote by mail-in ballot it’s doubly annoying to be hounded by political calls that increase in number as  election day looms closer.  I’m tempted to change my answering machine message to “You can’t influence me – I’ve already voted.”  Maybe add a snotty  “Neener-neener” at the end.  That way my machine could talk to their machine and leave me out of the whole thing.

And while I’m ranting, I want our President  in the oval office where he belongs – working.  Not gadding about the country, guest starring on Leno or whatever. If he was doing a great job taking care of this country and her citizens, then he wouldn’t need to campaign.  Am I right?  My employer expects me to do the work that he’s paying me to do.  The President,  Senators and Congressmen are supposed to be working for ‘We the People’.  Not for a political party agenda.  I think they missed that memo. (It probably came when they were out on the road campaigning.)

As far as the Party’s go – abolish them. ‘We the People’ are sick of their whining and blaming each other for why things can’t get done, or why things are done wrong.  There is no such thing as bi-partisan.  It’s only a buzz word, used during campaigns to fool us into thinking that the candidates really want everybody to “just get along” and put the country first.  Which would be so awesome if they meant it.

A quote from my favorite President comes to mind:  “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

I sure hope that wasn’t why they shot him.

Voting Should Be More Real

American Eagle

We the people want to be heard. We want to have our “say”. So why are less than half of eligible voters actually voting?  Maybe it’s a sign that we need a change.

I for one am sick of the ballot using such complicated legalese that what you are voting on is obscured.  Whoever is editing our voting materials never attended  English classes taught by my teachers. Being unclear was a big no-no.

Example of a measure proposed on a local ballot:

Measure B
Shall the City of  Pineville, State of Louisiana (the “City”), continue to levy and collect a special tax of ten (10) mills on all property subject to taxation in said City (an estimated $780,745 reasonably expected at this time to be collected from the levy of the tax for an entire year), for a period of ten (10) years, beginning with the year 2011 and ending with the year 2020, for the purpose of paying salaries of employees of the fire and police departments of said City? …

That is only the brief description of  Measure B. There are 6 more pages at the back of the ballot with the story, but most folks don’t read those pages. It’s not because we are lazy, or ignorant. It’s because reading the brief description has already given us a headache.

I’ve spoken English all my life and that just wasn’t  it. The government started printing the ballots and voter information in Spanish, Chinese, Vietnamese, etc.  So people whose primary language is not English can better understand the material.   I wonder how that is working for them.  All this time they thought it was  the f_*&^#g English language that kept them from understanding what they were voting for.  Ha! Now they know that none of us know.

Aside from the way ballots are worded, these Measures, Laws, and Propositions often do not involve one thing. They involve 2 or 3 things, or even worse, they refer to other Measures, Laws, and Propositions. It’s suspicious the way they pussy-foot around what is being said. Measure B above, translated into English, would say: “Should Pineville, LA continue to collect a special property tax for funding the police and fire departments for another 10 years?”  Yes or No? Period. Talk about the gory details on the pages in the back of the pamphlet if you must.

Sheesh!