I should read Dante’s Inferno – then maybe I would have a clue about what level I’m on. But part of me does not want to actually know how Hell works. I don’t plan on going there.
After being on this planet over 50-years, I suspect we are already there. Someday, when we are ready, Saint Michael, or designee, will come and get us. We will be ready when our souls have learned the lessons we are here to learn.
I must be dimwitted.
I have been close to death at least 3 times (that I know of) and here I still am – suffering through weeks like this one.
Every day this week there is a medical appointment to drive to. Monday’s was for me in Modesto (a 2+ hour drive). I had two appointments. The first one was with a Diabetes educator who showed me and hubby insulin pumps and sent me off with company brochures to go over and decide which one I wanted to order. The second was a 15-minute one with an educator to implant a blood glucose monitor into my stomach to get a 72-hour continuous reading. I waited in the waiting room for 2-hours because the gal that checked me in for the appointment pushed the wrong button and I got listed under the ‘no-shows’. So… I am driving in the dark on twisty mountain roads that have no street lights, exactly what I meant to avoid when I made the appointment. This made me very unhappy.
Tuesday I drove hubby to Sonora (1-hour drive) for his eye surgery scheduled for 12:30pm. His doctor had to cancel the surgery due to an infection inside hubby’s eye. This did not make hubby very happy. In fact, he is depressed and grumpy.
Today, there was no need for a followup appointment with the eye surgeon, so we had a ‘free’ day. There was a big storm coming, so we stoked the fire and rested. Neither of us had any energy to actually accomplish anything.
Thursday (tomorrow), I drive back to Modesto to get the sensor removed and see my endocrinologist to go over the readings and lab tests I had the last week. I need to make a decision on what pump features I want and fill out paperwork. Y’all know how irritated paperwork makes me. For those who don’t know me that well – paperwork makes me irritated.
All of these changes, and the stress of this month’s bad news about my jaw, and next week’s oral surgery, to do bone-grafting to rebuild bone loss due to an infection I didn’t know I had – has brought back an old enemy: depression riddled with anxiety.
THEN, this afternoon, I receive horrible news about sugar-free sodas and foods being toxic to our bodies (especially for diabetics, don’t you know) because of aspartame. And that aspartame combined with phenylalanine is poisonous.
Well, kiss my donkey! Those research mice in the 70’s were right.
My fridge is stocked with my favorite drink, a sparking flavored water that has zero calories, zero carbohydrates, zero sodium, zero fat and zero sugar. And apparently, contains a slow acting poison.
But it tastes so wonderful!! And our tap water tastes metallic and sulfurous. Hmm… Coincidence?
Oh dear, I think I am descending another level.