I am Not the Droid You Are Looking For…

I have been hunted down by every scammer, robot caller, and sleazy spammer. My mailbox is stuffed with letters to me from every non-profit organization I have ever heard of. And some new ones. Did I win the lotto? Why am I suddenly in demand, almost famous?

My cell phone rings and beeps all day long. Rarely is anyone calling or texting me. My granddaughter is home and back in school, so these interuptions are not for her either.

I am pestered mostly by ‘Potential Spam’ and “Unknown Caller.” These calls are often coming in from other states. What gets me angry are the texts I get from “companies” that are fake, pretending to be my bank, or telling me it’s time to renew my vehicle warranty. Sometimes the FBI calls me to tell me they have a warrant for my arrest. The Social Security Administration calls or texts to alert me about fraudulent use of my SS#.

PLEASE! Leave me be! Even if you press “2” to be taken off the list, you are on a million lists. If someone removes you from their list, how would you know?

I did not default on my student loans, or give out my SS#. I am happy with the warranty I have on my car, I do not have accounts at Bank of America, and if the FBI thinks they are going to arrest me, they better send David Rossi and Dr. Spencer Reed to do it.

My email account supposedly has a spam filter. This filter leaks like a sieve and I scroll through WAY more spam than email actually meant for me. I hate it when I get ads for Viagra and penis enlargers. Then there’s the offers for mail-order Brides. My name is Jodi, so a lot of people think I’m a guy. Here is a tip: Boys are spelled Jody. Jodi’s and Jodie’s are girls. Hubby gets a ton of sexts from girls that want to do stuff to him. He complains about these, but I think he secretly likes them. Sometimes, he gets a nudie photo. Not that he tells me this, but I can tell the way he says, “whoooo!” under his breath.

I am fed up with being sexually abused and harrassed constantly! There must be something we can do to stop the madness. Wait a minute! PG&E has the power to stop it all. Pun intended. No power, no internet. No internet, no email. No power, no phone line. This is ironic, but one major annoyance stops the others.

I’m going to have to ponder on my attitude about power outages.


Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

Evacuation orders & warnings for Arnold & Murphys California have been eased. Northern California is on fire in every direction around us, and this morning we woke up to smoke so thick we cannot see the sun. We know it is shinning up above the smoke because where it comes in our windows, it is orange.

The patches of orange inside and outside are disturbing. They make me think I am seeing reflections from fire. I have to remind myself that I am seeing reflections from the particles floating in the air.

Even the forest animals are sheltering in place. It’s been a week since we watched deer (or rabbits, turkeys, foxes, etc.) grazing in the forest. Our dog has become skittish and anxious. She dashes around the house, then stops in her tracks and stares at us, as if to ask, “Why are we still here?”

Out of the corner of your eye you notice something floating down from the sky. You wish it were snow, however, it is ash. It blankets the ground and everything on it. It gets into the house even when the windows are shut. It covers my car that is parked in the garage. I try not to dwell on the fact that we are breathing this crud. I am back on my asthma medication and I need a refill. My voice is getting deep and raspy. Not in a sensual way, mind you, but more likely to frighten little kids.

I count my blessings every day that my house will be a pain to clean and my car is filthy. My house remains intact and I still have a car to run errands (like going to the pharmacy.) Those two things are major up here and many have lost them. We have power today, so I can communicate by phone, text, this blog.

I have so many things on my indoor to-do list that I can work on, a couple quilts in the works and a crochet project to learn. My office, kitchen & cupboards need organizing badly. My fault for tossing things willy-nilly into places they should go in a haphazard way, to “get to later”. Later is now. I am a homebody at heart, so I feel right in my element. My problem is what to do first?

It’s Giggles and Bits Time

You probably know that I live in the Stanislaus National Forest. If you don’t already know this, now you do. My point is, occasionally you see silly things that you would not see in the city.

I feel like it’s my mission to share these things with my non-mountain readers. That, and it’s Thursday…

I call this collection, “Forest Ninjas”

To Catch the Squirrel, Be the Squirrel
Jean Claude Van Raccoon
May I Join You For Lunch?

I Call This Collection “Just Plain Crazy”

Elk Hunting
Plain Rabbit
Are You Looking At Me?

Hope you enjoyed these giggles!