Loss Squared

Writing 101: Day Four
Write about a loss: something (or someone) that was part of your life, and isn’t any more. The twist- make it a 3-part series…

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I lost the last person in my immediate family, my little sister, in May of 2012. We lost our mother in 2011, sis and I spent the last year of mom’s life living in her house, taking care of her.  That year had heartbreak, good-times and a bonding I never thought would happen between me and little sis.

Oh sure, she still could drive me nuts, but we shared a love for yarn and we knitted and crocheted like fiends, between nursing mom.  We leaned on (and vented our frustration to) each other, both before and after mom’s death. So many details needing to be taken care of, Despite mom’s wish to not have any kind of service or memorial, she had set up a ‘Trust’ for us and her lawyer guided us through the mountains of paperwork. My father had made that very same wish known to us before he died. I hated not having closure. No relatives flying in and hugging us. No day to honor them. No day to mourn.

In the months before mom got deathly sick, she informed sis and I that she didn’t want to be tossed at sea, after all, but rather scattered close to her daughters and granddaughter, who lived in small communities in the Sierra foothills.

Mom is very close to me, but not scattered around our new house. She is still in a sturdy gift bag, that sis had from a Casino mom loved to play in. Three Mother’s Day’s have passed, and Mom still sits in my office, on a bookshelf.

I can almost hear her nagging about me procrastinating. “Just like your father!” she would add. Sorry, mom! I must be having some letting go issues, because I lost my dog over 4 years ago and she also sits on a bookshelf in my office.  Sis is not here – she is with her fiance in Colorado, were she would have wanted to be.

Sis was finely able to break away from mom…  Stay tuned…