Category: Humor

Humor is everywhere – open your eyes!

I Should Have Been in Vegas…

~ JodiLea

I was at the wrong place at the right time.

This is better than being there at the wrong time, but not being there at the right time can be Really* annoying. To the 8th power annoying, even.

I can almost hear Pirates in the background complaining, “ARGgggggh!”

 

Isn’t that the most beautiful sight, on a video poker machine?

I only had the Ace and the Queen. The rest of the Royal Flush was dealt to me. At first I did not realize what happened, probably because bells and whistles were not blaring. Of course not – I was not in Vegas.

I was in my comfy chair, sipping my first cup of coffee of the morning – at home.

The machine paid out 4,000 credits (a.k.a. nothing). Oh well.  The perk is, when I lose all my credits, it gives me 100 more – no questions asked.  No swarthy bouncer type stalking me either.

And, the best perk of all, I can play poker in my pajamas with my puppy at my feet.

So, Caesars Palace?  Bellagio?  Venusian?  Wynn? …  can any of you make me that comfy and happy while I play poker?

Dare you.

♥  TTFN  ♥

 

* Based on the 0 to 10 ‘Really’ Scale, that measures non-measurable things. Like Passion, Irritation, Annoyance, Cuteness and Urgency.

Why My Novel Remains a Draft, and Other Insights

~ JodiLea

Dear readers of “Through the Door”,

I’m not trying to tease you. Believe me when I say that I am wanting to get back to Mollie* and Travis even worse than you do. Life (good and bad) keeps getting in my way, but I am organizing my Draft-5 editing plan (i.e. to-do-list), so when I do have time to dedicate to the novel, I will be ready to go.

* Oh, yea – I changed Chloe’s name to Mollie, due to privacy issues. Same girl, different name.

I’m thinking seriously about changing the title as well.  Titles are one of the more difficult challenges I have with my writing. I over-think it. I try too hard to think of the perfect title and it does not enter my head. “Through the Door” was originally a great title, but it has lost something over time.

When “Accidental Tourist” popped into my head, I knew it had been a movie in the past, so I dropped it.  Only 2 days later, because it was so perfect, for Mollie’s story, I did some research to find out just how many things were titled the same.

I was encouraged to find that 16 out of the 19 titles for film and TV I found were episodes titled “Accidental Tourist”, but they were part of various TV series.  There were 3 films. 2 short films, in 2010 & 2015, and one feature film, 1988, with Kathleen Turner and William Hurt.

So, not being over used in the film industry, I hoped against hope that there were just as few Books in circulation.

Anne Tyler wrote a Novel titled “The Accidental Tourist” published in 2007. It has been published in several Anne Tyler Collections of stories, as well as being an Intro title (i.e., The Accidental Tourist: more title words go on…) I read a review, by The Washington Post. It was long and wordy, but this phrase struck me “A fresh and timeless tale of unexpected bliss”  What a relief! Totally does not describe Mollie’s travel at all.

“Accidental Tourist” is now the (nearly final) Title. It’s not that I can’t commit, it just leaves room for an Editor to make title suggestions, right?

Well, what a relief about the title issue. Now I can concentrate on being an Editor on this story. The most difficult part of writing (aside from perfect titles) that one can encounter.  A prayer, if you are so inclined, would be appreciated!

♥  TTFN  ♥

 

 

Why Men Are Happier People

~ JodiLea

I found this list in an old folder titled “Inspiration”. I do not know who I thought it would inspire, but there is a ring of truth about it…

 

WHY MEN ARE HAPPIER PEOPLE

Your last name stays put. 

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack…

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice about growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to name more than 20 of these items.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

~~~~~~~~~  ***  ~~~~~~~~~

I honestly laughed out loud after reading that last one!

 

♥  TTFN  ♥

Photo credit: (license)