After 25-Years of Marriage He’s Still a Mystery

Question-8-ball  Hubby and I really do communicate. Not that you would notice. After chatting with his sister on the phone for half an hour, he neglects to tell me about her plans for a reunion, or the latest earth-shattering news. He swears that yes, he told me – I just forgot.

His family must believe my mind is a constantly leaking sieve.

Like he remembers anything, Ha!  If it has to do with firearms, power tools, or nakedidity – the man can remember it. He draws a blank if there is a calendar involved. Take Valentines Day as an example. The man didn’t know that it fell on February 14th – EVERY YEAR. Or, if he did know, he rather pretend he’s a moron than get me a present. Either way, I do not get a present.

But we won’t go there today…

We have this huge calendar that hangs on the refrigerator door. Our entire life is on there – doctor appointments, birthdays, events we plan to attend, guests arrival dates, parties, 49er football games – I mean everything.  All he has to do is look at it. I cross out the days that have already passed even, so not to confuse him.  Giant Calendar

The man still does not know what week it is, let alone the day. He has a Jeff Foxworthy daily calendar on his dresser. He doesn’t tear off the past days redneck jokes, so even that calendar can’t help him. I can’t blame this on retirement because it all started years ago. Around the time we got married.

Why should he pay attention to all that? He has his very own personal day-timer – Moi. All he needs to do is ask ‘what day is it?’, ‘when are the kids coming up?’, ‘don’t you have somewhere to go today?’. Now this has spilled over to television. ‘What channel is blah-blah on?’ ‘What day/time is whatchamacallit on?’, ad-nausea.

I find it odd that he expects me to just know all this stuff for him, off the top of my head. As if this was in the vows I took at our wedding. Maybe it was.

My mind leaks like a sieve, you know.

😉

Beyond Bored

BabyYawning  The Daily Prompt is ‘YAWN’. What bores you?

GOLF. Watching a golf match on TV has to be the most boring thing, ever. Apologies to those who love to play/watch golf, but it had to be said. If forced to watch (I know, right? But it happens!) it is only tolerable if I am sewing, knitting or crocheting while doing so.

When I think about it, I am rarely bored. My handwork makes a lot of things tolerable for me. Like airports. Road trips. Waiting rooms. American Rifleman – hubby watches this show because he likes old guns, but he agrees that the host speaks very, let’s say non-enthusiastically.

FL-Golfcourse
Hey!  Where is the ball? Where is the golfer?

Maybe golf in the deep south is a bit more exciting…

I am an intense and hyperactive person. I cannot sit still and do nothing. Doing handwork will actually help me slowdown and relax – something everyone from family members to doctors,  keep telling me to do.

I have friends who love golf. Go figure. They tell me it relaxes them and I should try it.

I just nod, smile, and continue knitting.
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photo credit: wiccked via photopin cc


photo credit: lincolnblues via photopin cc

Meet Herbie, My Green Monster

Note: I did not title this post: My Little Green Monster.
GreenMonster
My Green Monster has not, nor will ever be, little. If it’s true that jealousy feeds on itself, growing bigger, then Herbie (my green monster) must weigh 300 pounds by now.

I am always in the company of Herbie. I named him because my brain grew tired of thinking “my green monster”. I have a pretty tired brain. Herbie (and I) envy everyone and everything.  I manage to hide it pretty well (or so I think). I would hate for people to know just how shallow I really am. I certainly would not want this getting out on the internet. Ha.

It’s like this – I compare myself to everyone I meet, and I find myself lacking. Not only does this torture my self-esteem, but it’s exhausting. I have lived with the belief that if only I were pretty, everything would be OK. I would have self-esteem, confidence and more compassion. And yes, I’ll admit it, I’d get more positive attention.

In our defense, we don’t become insanely jealous. That is strange in itself, considering. I don’t shoot daggers out of my eyes at people, and we haven’t broken the law trying to steal stuff we want. Herbie is more of a pacifist. He likes to admire in people the things that I want, but cannot have. Things like a flawless complexion. Full lips. Large breasts I would flaunt at hubby – to see if I could lure him out of his shop, or just to be a brat.

Stuff like that.

We do not limit our envy to physical beauty – oh no! Herbie and I admire character, principles, bravery, honesty. We get misty eyed when we read something humorous, deeply moving, or impacting – wishing that I could write something that good.

We are suckers for romantic gestures and puppies. We are jealous of those who get to have one, and envious of those who have both. The typical “have and have not” scenario Herbie and I live with every day, in spite of all the therapy.

We hate that real-life isn’t life in the movies. Romantic comedy’s, that is. Not those vampire or zombie movies, which would, literally, suck.

😉
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photo credit: Daniel Ferenčak via photopin cc