Category: Random Thoughts

The junk that pops into my brain

Diary of a Nicotine Addict: Month 11

~ JodiLea ~ 4 Comments

I could tell you that my life is one big happy party because I quit smoking eleven months ago. But why start lying to you now? That would be like using a pencil to write diary entries so I could change things to be how I wanted. And wouldn’t that be cool? But I digress…

Image

The Bitch has been restless. (In case you missed earlier posts, “The Bitch” is my term for addiction.)  Being totally aware of my approaching 1-year anniversary, Ms. Bitch has been throwing opportunities at me to buy, borrow, or steal a cigarette. She is very good at this. And because her wicked ways have worked so many times on me, she is relentless. She’s hanging around patiently waiting for stress and weakness to bring me down.

Not to worry – I have beefed up security and will issue a “high-alert” warning to my reinforcements.

No, I am not trying to be flippant or funny (this time). I really do have reinforcements. One friend supplied me with enough sugar-free candy the day I quit to last a long time. I still have some in my office.  My BFF sent me a care package of assorted sugar-free lollipops, so I can do the “Kojak thing” when I need to. (If you don’t know what the Kojak thing is, you may be too young to be reading blogs on the Internet. Especially ones written by insane addicts. Just sayin’)

Fellow bloggers & readers cheer me on. The “Diary of an Addict” blog series has the most read posts this year at Not Pretending (to be sane). I hope that these posts sometimes help others keep their Bitches at bay. It helps me to write about it and be accountable for my behavior. I finally learned I couldn’t fight The Bitch alone.

I have a wonderful family scattered all over this United States praying for me to kick The F*^&$@! Bitch’s ass. Maybe not in those exact words…   I admit asking God to send my Guardian Angel down to kick The F*^&$@! Bitch’s ass for me. In those exact words, BTW.)

God is pretty used to me by now, so no sense pretending   😉

Fuggitabout The Bunny

~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

The bunny is frozen this year…

Easter SnowmanMy Granddaughter made this snowman last week.  “You should have seen him right after she finished”, says my daughter, who doesn’t think to take a photo until 2-days after, when his head is already starting to shrink.

And then a warmish streak of weather came along and her snowman lost some weight, but he was still standing tall!

Thinner Snowman

I wonder if he is still in the backyard.

If he’s gone, she better hustle and make another one from last night’s snow. Someone is going to have to hide the eggs if the bunny isn’t going to do it.  She could actually make a snow bunny this time.

It just might work  😉

Unscientific Studies

~ JodiLea ~ 3 Comments

News story seen in local newspaper:

“A Stanford University* study reveals that among freshmen, the ones who attended parties throughout the week, consistently had lower grade averages than the freshman who stayed in the dorm more.”

Wow. I am stunned.

Not at these results, but the fact that time and money were wasted on a “study” to find out something that anyone with common sense already knows to be a fact.  Let me guess – a Stanford freshman needed to do a research study and this one sounded easy (and fun) to do. I hope this same student has to do real research for their Master’s thesis. I mean they’re graduating from F&$#!!! Stanford!

Sorry for the outburst. This is one of my biggest peeves. Either do research or not. Don’t bother me with “studies” you probably made up – or as my Dad would say, “pulled out of your ass”.

And what about the Graduate student who approved this “study”- where is he/she throughout the week? At the movies, studying popcorn?…

Just sayin’

 

*  Disclaimer: I have nothing but the highest respect for  Stanford University, its educational programs, students,  hospital, or research. Just poking at them in good fun.