Please Turn Me OFF

Deja Vu: Originally posted December 2010

 I need a new accessory.  An OFF button.

Off Button

One push of this button and my brain stops thinking about a dozen things simultaneously and retreats into Stand By mode.

Total mindless bliss.

No brains, no headaches.

Like being lobotomized – but not.

I really need this button. There are too many people in my head and they won’t shut up. I imagine Sybil felt this way. Probably worse, since she had like 17 people in there.

With an OFF button I could vanquish my insomnia. Just one push of my little OFF button and I’m in dreamland. Ahhhh…

But who will push my ON button in the morning? Would my husband decide to take a vacation from me? I can just see him leaving me OFF, for days at a time. Until the food ran out in the fridge and he had no clean socks to wear.  Nope – better not trust him.

My OFF button will need to come with an embedded timer. One I can set to turn me back ON when I want to be ON. Not when someone else wants me ON. This would prevent missing days or weeks out of my life because someone “forgot” to push my button.

Oh. My OFF button should also have a built-in smoke/C02 detector. And maybe an audio over-ride, for emergency alerts. And grand-babies screaming. The audio over-ride would ignore telephones and doorbells ringing. It would also ignore stupid questions and whining.

Now I just have to wait until this accessory becomes available to the public. The way technology is going, that should be next month or so.

I wonder if I can afford it…

Things People with Multiple Personalities Shouldn’t Do

Deja Vu: Original post February 2011

Jodi (et,al.)
All of these persona’s blog here. If you have followed along for a while, you may have “met” most of them. They ALL have something to say.  I keep a notebook to jot down ideas, research, topics & whatnot,  some of the stuff in there amazes me, obviously written by one of us.

Bad Ideas if you have more than one personality:

Get a Tattoo.

Who would get to make that decision? No one wants to wake up and find someone elses tattoo on their body, so we are not going there.

Go to Las Vegas.

Not to mention any names, but one of us is a bit sleazy, one of us is a compulsive gambler, and who knows what kind of trouble the hard-ass would cause.

Get Married.

My poor husband. Every evening when he leaves work, he has no clue who he is coming home to. Sometimes he enjoys the variety, but mostly he is exhausted.

Work with Alzheimer’s patients.

Those poor souls have enough confusion in their lives. They certainly don’t need us.

Go anywhere without a GPS:

Not a single one of us has any sense of direction.  I mean none… whatsoever

Have the combination to the gun safe:

The Government could learn from hubby and his boys about keeping top-secret information from getting into the wrong hands.

Things NOT on my Bucket List

Deja Vu: Original Post on November 28, 2010

Ever since that movie came out,  my friends are thinking about their lists. No one is actually writing these lists down on paper. At least not admitting they are, because after all, we are way too young to be thinking about that.

I have no clue what will be on my list. I do, however, know what will NOT be. Continue reading “Things NOT on my Bucket List”