Not Just Any Job

December 2, 2011 ~ JodiLea ~ 3 Comments

Deja Vu: Originally posted on Feb. 3rd, 2011

I have had my share of jobs. Nothing I wanted to keep as a career, but I needed the money. I have done fast-food, bookkeeping, alarm monitoring (yawn), receptionist & clerical work. One of my favorite’s was working for an answering service & towing dispatch. I am glad I moved on before technology eliminated it with the cell phone. And yes, I am that old.

I like the kind of work I do now. My position description is: “Senior Computer Support Technologist”. It is a Government job classification, so it doesn’t tell you anything. What I do is provide tech support for my organization, and outside users of our system. It’s a customer support job.

Most people would hate working in customer support. Having a job no one wants is nice. It keeps me from worrying about backstabbing bitches & getting laid off. But enough about my current job…

Top Ten Jobs I Would Leave Mine For:

Stephen King’s Assistant
Write a syndicated column for a major newspaper
Publish my novel(s) and hit the Best Seller’s List
Work for a Bernese Mountain Dog breeder as a “Puppy Entertainer”
Join the Blue Collar Comedy Tour
Stephen King’s Assistant (did I already say that?)
Professional Sleep Number Bed Tester (think of the naps!)
Guest appearance on Leverage
Cast in a movie with Sam Elliot
Work with the writers for The Late Show’s Top Ten List

P.S. Please don’t tell my boss!

Please Turn Me OFF

November 28, 2011November 27, 2011 ~ JodiLea

Deja Vu: Originally posted December 2010

I need a new accessory. An OFF button.

One push of this button and my brain stops thinking about a dozen things simultaneously and retreats into Stand By mode.

Total mindless bliss.

No brains, no headaches.

Like being lobotomized – but not.

I really need this button. There are too many people in my head and they won’t shut up. I imagine Sybil felt this way. Probably worse, since she had like 17 people in there.

With an OFF button I could vanquish my insomnia. Just one push of my little OFF button and I’m in dreamland. Ahhhh…

But who will push my ON button in the morning? Would my husband decide to take a vacation from me? I can just see him leaving me OFF, for days at a time. Until the food ran out in the fridge and he had no clean socks to wear. Nope – better not trust him.

My OFF button will need to come with an embedded timer. One I can set to turn me back ON when I want to be ON. Not when someone else wants me ON. This would prevent missing days or weeks out of my life because someone “forgot” to push my button.

Oh. My OFF button should also have a built-in smoke/C02 detector. And maybe an audio over-ride, for emergency alerts. And grand-babies screaming. The audio over-ride would ignore telephones and doorbells ringing. It would also ignore stupid questions and whining.

Now I just have to wait until this accessory becomes available to the public. The way technology is going, that should be next month or so.

I wonder if I can afford it…

Things People with Multiple Personalities Shouldn’t Do

November 27, 2011November 27, 2011 ~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

Deja Vu: Original post February 2011

Jodi (et,al.)
All of these persona’s blog here. If you have followed along for a while, you may have “met” most of them. They ALL have something to say. I keep a notebook to jot down ideas, research, topics & whatnot, some of the stuff in there amazes me, obviously written by one of us.

Bad Ideas if you have more than one personality:

Get a Tattoo.

Who would get to make that decision? No one wants to wake up and find someone elses tattoo on their body, so we are not going there.

Go to Las Vegas.

Not to mention any names, but one of us is a bit sleazy, one of us is a compulsive gambler, and who knows what kind of trouble the hard-ass would cause.

Get Married.

My poor husband. Every evening when he leaves work, he has no clue who he is coming home to. Sometimes he enjoys the variety, but mostly he is exhausted.

Work with Alzheimer’s patients.

Those poor souls have enough confusion in their lives. They certainly don’t need us.

Go anywhere without a GPS:

Not a single one of us has any sense of direction. I mean none… whatsoever

Have the combination to the gun safe:

The Government could learn from hubby and his boys about keeping top-secret information from getting into the wrong hands.