Category: Random Thoughts

The junk that pops into my brain

For Heaven’s Sake, Lighten Up!!

~ JodiLea ~ 4 Comments

My Uncle John sent me this little story back in 2011. I came across it again this week. I don’t know if it’s true, but I hope it is!!

The Yellow Light

Yellow Light

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the cross walk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a police officer approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, ”I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally….I assumed you had stolen the car.”

Domestic Friday

~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

I love my every-other Friday off work!  I refer to it as my “domestic” Friday because I usually get involved with cleaning, laundry, weeds, or organizing things.

Today I am doing all the above, with some mending thrown in as well. I hope to later work on my cookbook (I’m having problems with formatting that pissed me off, so it’s been a couple of months now since I opened the document).  But first I am on a mission to organize my kitchen cupboards. As you can see, they need it. The plastic container section has been a case of what you want is hard to get to, and you better slam the door shut before 2 more items launch out at you and hit your toes that are only protected on the bottom by your flip-flops. Tupperware is painful my friend!

My prescription medication & remedies section is just ridiculous.

The messy cupboard

I don’t even want to discuss the pots and pans shelf. Ha! It’s not even a shelf – it’s the floor.

It took  2 hours to make any progress. I had to remove everything from the shelf I was working on. I found seasonings and vitamins with expiration dates in 2008. (Yuck!)  I washed the shelf and while it dried I made room in a bedroom dresser drawer for all my medications to hang out in. Except for my plastic 7-day pill-box, the cold remedies, and Ibuprofen, the shelf looks empty now. Look Mom, you can see the shelf!!

There is space!

The food area is full, but now I can see everything. Things do not fall out when I open the doors either. I keep opening the doors to just admire it.

Neater

Saturday afternoon I finally got the motivation to tackle the containers & pots and get this mission finished. Whew. A small part of the house, but one I have to deal with everyday.

Containers Under Control

I know it still looks wild in there, but my toes are safe and so is my 1-year old granddaughter when she comes into the kitchen to help me cook.

Pots Under Control

The pots & pans have room for a couple more that belong there because I am sick of having to dig in the spare room closet for my favorite sauté pan, or in the pantry for my big Tupperware (on the bottom left).

Of course, what helped make things neater was removing a few things and making a place for them in my “pantry”, (a.k.a. the garage). I will spare you looking at that disaster. You might already be asking yourself, why is this crazy woman posting the contents of her kitchen cupboards? And why am I still reading this?

I will answer you truthfully. I have no freaking clue why I am writing this post. Maybe it’s because my blood sugar has been very high. Maybe this menopause thing is striking me silly. Maybe I just want sympathy because I have the smallest kitchen cupboards in the world. My 2 bedroom apartment had twice the cupboard space as this 4 bedroom house. (WTF??)

BTW – have you ever seen kitchen linoleum that looked like brick before? I want to go on record here: I did NOT do that to my kitchen!!

🙂

Chick Flick of the Week: Universal Soldier

~ JodiLea

I’m Serious.

I absolutely love Jean-Claude Van Damme’s spin-kick. I don’t know why, but I was mesmerized from the first one I saw. I was not even watching the movie, my hubby and sons were having testosterone theater night and I was  in another room reading a good book. I came out to the kitchen for a refill of popcorn and that’s when I saw it. Then a close up of the kicker clinched the deal. I could not believe what I had been missing!  I plopped right down on a bean-bag and stayed there, not moving until the credits were over.

That movie was Nowhere To Run and it had a romantic, Knight-in-shining-armor story going on. Jean-Claude had to protect himself and the pretty single-mom with his spin-kicks. This was not your macho he-man only kind of movie.

When Hard Target was on TV I decided to check it out. The spin-kicks were even more awesome and intense. The plot was once again a damsel in distress (which I love, BTW). But the enjoyment of watching spin-kicks and the rescuing was tainted by Jean-Claude’s hair. I know it’s petty, but really, did his character have to have a greasy, matted, mullet cut? Yuck. Despite that distraction, it was a great movie.

I discovered that Universal Soldier was playing on HBO late Saturday night.  I would be sleeping on the couch and vaporizing myself, so this cheered me up considerably.  I had a “date” with Jean-Claude.

My “date” is in top spin-kick shape, and has clean, short, military hair in Universal Soldier.  Even when wearing an eye-patch the dude is   HOT!!!.  I think I remember exactly how hot Jean-Claude is in between seeing him in action, but my memory is like black & white TV, compared to the high-def, full living color of this perfect man. Such a lovely surprise each time I see him!

This movie has many more lethal weapons and mindless shooting than the other movies I like. I just fast forward through those parts and get right back to the chick stuff. There should be no shooting in a Van Damme movie anyway. Just a bunch of major ass-kicking.

What could be better than Jean-Claude’s perfect face and body, kicking ass in a tight-fitting uniform?

His being out of uniform, that’s what. Jean-Claude plays a character that is  too hot for his own bad self. When the man gets overheated he starts pulling off clothing and looking for ice. And girls, this happens more than once.

No matter which movie you pick to watch (and I know you will!), you may need ice yourself.

😉