I have heard that if you strip down an expensive car and sold it piece by piece it is worth more than the whole car. This sounds fishy to me.

My body parts are competing for the title of “Most Annoying.” This competition occurs daily. I wake up and thank God I am sober, and pray for strength to make it through the day and get things accomplished.

I know before I get out of bed which body parts are competing. Even sleeping on a Sleep Number bed, my hip joints and my spine are already paining me. Getting out of bed will be painful but I learned that if I take it slow, stretch (very slow), and walk around a little while my muscles relax and I start to move less like Walter Brennen and more like a girl.

The older I become, the more I can’t sit still. Too long in one position and my joints “freeze.” I need to be oiled. There are OTC meds for joint loosening and I believe I should try one of them. I need to put them on my grocery list. It is a long walk to the refrigerator where the list hangs. It’s not that I am lazy, I just forget what I was going to write when I get there.

I will address the issues with my memory in some other blog post.

I don’t know how the body parts feel, but in my reasoning, the Jaw wins. TMJ – Its medical name is: ‘Temporal-Mandibular Joint’. I prefer to call it the ThermoNuclear Joint. This joint is very small, and it has the big job of keeping your jaw in alignment.

The tiniest joint has the most power. The best (and most accurate) description of TMJ pain I ever heard is, “Take an icepick and put it on your eardrum. Now hit it with a hammer.”

Have you ever dislocated a disc in your neck by sneezing? Give yourself a concussion with a cupboard door? I mean, really! Can’t we all just get along?

TTFN