Please, Don’t Take My Cell Phone Away!

~ JodiLea

Cell PhoneI love technology. We are so spoiled with our appliances that cook and clean for us. I shudder to think that I could have been born before indoor plumbing, like my grandmother was. You may not think of appliances and toilets being technological. But they are.

I would really miss my iPod, TV, DVR and HBO. I would not want to do without my coffee maker or dishwasher, but I could deal. But my cell phone is absolutely essential.

I don’t chat or text much at all. Some days my cell never comes out of my purse or off the charger. The point is – it (and the technology behind it) exists. My days of trudging off to find a phone (because my haunted little car, dies – again – in the middle of an intersection) are now over. I can whip out my little phone and arrange a rescue while standing on the side of the road watching the drivers honking behind the broken car in the left turn lane. You would think an empty car with flashing lights might be a clue. Sometimes I wish my phone had a camera so I can capture these moments …

Movie Review: The Book of ELI

~ JodiLea

Movie Review Logo

If you like stories that unfold in a manner you can easily follow, The Book of ELI is not for you. And the sound sucked. I had the volume turned up to the max and I still had trouble hearing what was being said. Perhaps it was the DVD I rented. Not that there was much dialog the first half of the film anyway. Everyone Eli came in contact with he slaughtered, in what appeared to be self-defense.

Speaking of, why on earth was Denzel Washington cast as Eli? I had a hard time getting over the fact that Denzel was hidden under all that filthy scruffiness. Why couldn’t he shave earlier in the film? What a total waste of handsome!

I love suspenseful movies. However, I had more questions at the end of the film than at the beginning. Please don’t bring up mysteries that are never re-visited (i.e., the checking of the hands thing. What was that about?). And does anyone besides me think that Eli may have been blind? My only problem with that was he seemed to need candlelight to read the book at night. And are we really supposed to swallow that he memorized the Old and New Testaments in their entirety? Whether you can suspend your disbelief about that or not, it was pretty damn cool.

I also liked how Gary Coleman got his in the end. I was positive that the book inside the leather binding was not the bible, but a fake. But what was inside was even better than that!

It was not a thumbs down movie by any means – I really liked the story and it made me think. My left over questions tend to bother me and make me wonder if I am just too dumb to keep up.

If anyone knows the answer to the hands thing, PLEASE clue me in!!!

Why My Guardian Angel Deserves A Raise

~ JodiLea

Dear God,

Thank you for my Guardian Angel. Please give him a BIG FAT Raise.  He works very hard to protect me from Evil, as well as myself.

When I was much younger, I pictured my Guardian Angel petite and feminine, like Tinkerbell with a halo. Maybe when I was younger that was the kind of Angel I needed.  As I grew up  my Guardian Angel needed to be more formidable.

As in Ving Rhames formidable.

Ving RhamesWhen I was seventeen, my cousin and I borrowed my Uncle’s 1974 Ford Pinto to run some errands. We were waiting to turn left at a busy intersection when a large truck smacked into the back of us and we were shoved 30 feet past the intersection. The back-end of the car wrapped itself over the front doors. The gas tank ruptured, spewing gasoline – a Ford Pinto defect in the mid 70’s you may have heard about.

So why does my Guardian Angel deserve a raise? First of all, my cousin did not have the wheels “pre-turned” to the left. So when the truck pushed us at 50 miles per hour, we went straight down the road, instead of turning  into oncoming traffic. Secondly, we had already dropped off my cousin’s baby niece at Grandmas house, so she was not in the car. There were no car seats back then – only laps. Last but not least, there had not been even one spark created by all that crushing metal to set all that gasoline on fire.  My cousin and I had whiplash. There was crying and shock, but no blood. There was another blessing later on as well. The insurance settlement paid for our 1st semester of college.

College must have been exhausting  for my Guardian Angel. He had to run interference from my stupid decisions. Decisions like letting drunk boys drive me back to the dorm from parties. And trying out the toga party “punch”.  I was  very, VERY naive. I was preyed upon by losers, users and evil-doers. If someone told me something, I believed it. Why would they lie? Why indeed…

I was also a  Jerk Magnet and my Angel had to be the defender of my chastity more than once. I used to wonder why I went out on a lot of first dates and had no boyfriends. Nobody messes with a formidable Guardian like Ving. Not twice.

Now that I am a happily married grandmother, my Ving-like Guardian Angel needs more action. No problem! I have 2 little granddaughters that need some serious protection. Phoenix, who is 6-years old, will be another reason he deserves a raise.

 

 

Photo of Ving Rhames, courtesy of Hollywood.com