Life as I know it

~ JodiLea

Sunset View

I have seen this view every day since August, and only recently I realized how incongruous it was. A cactus, palm tree, the ocean along the horizon, and a street light – all in the same landscape.

My life is like this. Priorities so diverse they belong on different to-do-lists and other people, thrown haphazardly  into a mosaic. Leaving me to try to do something with it.

I am disturbed by how long it took me to notice this. Proof that my brain is too busy. Like how a computer processes sluggishly during a virus scan, my head always has several thoughts vying for attention.

Example: What will I blog about today? Do I need to refill any prescriptions… Need to look up the bugs ready to beta test… What time on Sunday are the 49ers playing… Oh – don’t forget to call Karen with today’s joke… Make that dentist appointment…  Christian Kane is so damned HOT I can’t stand it… What rhymes with monster…  I wish my sister would stop making that noise…  Got to put that in the test plan… A nap sounds good, wish mom would take one so I could…  What should I make for dinner…  I wonder when  Victor Newman will get what he deserves… Why am I so stuck on the middle of my novel… I need a pedicure and a facial…  Put Liquid Plumber on the grocery list before I forget again… Hope my granddaughter loves the Christmas Dress I sent her…

All that and more in the 20 seconds it took to take the trash out.  No wonder I become exhausted by the end of the day…

My camera’s auto feature did not know what the hell to focus on either. Sometimes it was the garden cherub, or the cactus. Other times the palm trees. They are actually two palms next to each other, not a double-headed one. For some reason, I was disappointed when I discovered the truth.

Like the photo, my life is interesting, if not ideal. My focus and outlook varies from day-to-day. I suspect I may have undiagnosed multiple personality disorder. I keep this fact to myself. People already find me a bit unsettling. Like the residential street light smack in the middle of a landscape.

A Gray Christmas

~ JodiLea

Girl looking out window at rain Seven days & nights of continuous rain. Heavy rain.  Often accompanied by   nasty blasting winds.

How dare Mother Nature. This is  Southern California for crying out loud! I have not been able to relax on my private porch. I have not needed sunglasses in over a week! If I wanted to live like this I would move to Seattle.

I woke up smiling this morning because there was light coming in the window. And, the best part, cloudless patches of gorgeous blue sky playing peek-a-boo with the lingering grayness. Now, two hours later, the grayness wins out and all is gloomy again. I check the weather websites for hopeful news. Tomorrow and Saturday cloudy. More rain on Sunday.

Scotty! Beam me up and deposit me in Maui. Or shoot me. Something.

Snow would be a different story. It is magical and peaceful. I love watching it fall, especially at night. That kind of weather this time of year would be lovely. Even if the skies were gray it would be a White Christmas. Alas, Mother Nature only finds it in her heart to snow in southern California once every 50 years, and this is not one of them. The only snow I will see is the stuff falling on my blog.

This sunless gray world is turning me into a curmudgeon. I feel depressed, grumpy and tired. The kind of  “leave-me-alone-don’t-bother-me-I-just-want-to-sleep” mood clings to me like the snails and worms on the porch seeking higher ground. YUCK!  The fact that the house is festively decorated for Christmas, barely registers any response from me. Unless you count “Bah Humbug!” .

Then and Now

~ JodiLea

Before After

1985                                            2009

How in the Hell did this happen?

Wasn’t I just standing with my best friend, her car all packed and ready to go off to Woman’s Weekend, impatiently waiting for her husband to take the photo, so we could run away from home?  In 1985 I was a single mother. Little did I know that It would be a year before I would meet the love of my life, change my career path, catch chicken pox from my daughter and nearly die.

Now I have been married to the love of my life for 22 years.  I went back to school for a degree and graduated the same year my daughter graduated from high school. That was weird!  Made 2 more career changes, 3 years later became a grandmother, and 3 years after that I was diagnosed with diabetes days before slipping into a coma.  Of course there was a ton of other stuff in between – but this is not my autobiography…

Mentally I am 25 years old. A glimpse of my reflection startles me now. Who is that old woman ? Oh yeah, it’s me. Bummer. Just when I start to feel like I am getting a handle on life it’s half over.

What has brought on this melancholy tonight? I think I had a hot flash. I’m not sure if that is what happened. All I know is, I was hot. It felt like a fever without being sick. Part of me thinks OMG! The other part of me is thrilled – maybe this signals the end of 15 years of pre-menopausal HELL.

I have many questions these days. For example, is it just me, or do police officers look like they should be in high school instead of patrolling the streets? How do people with piercings pass through airport security? Don’t teens know that tattoos are permanent? Will somebody teach my hubby how to text, so I can have someone to sext?

Do I have to buy a red hat now?