Who Are These People?

Have you ever spent time with your adult children and wondered, Who are these people?

Are these the people I raised? Yes, they are. Despite your efforts to instill manners, neatness, and teamwork, it didn’t take hold.

When they were growing up, they pretended to listen and obey. Now that you are no longer “the boss of them,” they conveniently forget and revert to the teenagers who lived with you at one time. You remember the sullen, scowling ones? Never happy? Always hungry? Not speaking to you?

Now, they occasionally do speak to you – when they want something. Their faces reflect better moods than they used to. They seem to enjoy being at your house. In fact, they make themselves right at home. They descend upon the fridge and cram stuff they brought in there. The kitchen counter is now covered with snacks, sweets, and dips. I tell myself to shut up about the fact that I have no counter space to use, and enjoy the fact that they are finally sharing.

Their children (your grandchildren) are also here. Their messes and trash are different from those of their parents, but they increase the general chaos by forty percent, and the volume by seventy percent. Somebody wants to watch SpongeBob, but the others want to watch Star Wars. Grandpa and I want to turn the TV off. They don’t need a TV. Each one has a phone, they can play apps, watch shows, and Google things.

With the youngsters’ content, I notice that the older kids have ADHD. While they play a card game, they commandeer my Alexa Dot and make her play odd songs – loudly. Someone decided to mess with the device’s programming, and now Alexa signed me up to buy music. Someone else is playing music from their phone at competing decibels. I would send everyone to their rooms, but we only have 2 guest rooms and 12 people.

It’s me who needs a time-out. The older I get, the more claustrophobic I am when it comes to noises, a lot of people, and clutter. Looking back to my younger days, I realize I have always been this way. It just gets to my nerves sooner now. It explains a lot about why old people are cranky.

Wanting to run away from home feels so wrong. I love each and every kid and their families. I look forward to their visits, and although I barely tolerate the chaos, I really do want them around. I miss them when they are not here. That being said, hubby and I are so used to being just us in our house. Us and, of course, our dog, Ziva. Our lives are quiet, with the occasional exception.

I can’t sneak out of here because my car is in the garage and blocked by other people’s trucks, Jeeps, and a patrol car. Where would I go anyway? It is dark now, and nothing is open. I am not supposed to be driving at night, so there is that. We also do not go for walks when it is dark. Our neighborhood is DARK. There are no street lights. And nocturnal creatures come out of the forest at night. Some are very BIG.

I realize my options for calming down are a hot shower and winter pajamas. I feel better just thinking about this. As for the noise, I remember I have earplugs. I wish I had thought of this sooner…

TTFN

You CAN Go Home Again (But You Won’t Like It)

Writing 101: Day 13
Part II of  “Loss Squared
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It doesn’t matter how old you are – your mom is your mom and she will treat you like a little kid who knows nothing. Especially when you are living under her roof again.

I was 54-years young when I moved in with mom to help sis take care of her. Mom could not get over how I forgot where the glasses were kept. Or the cooking utensils, pots, linens – whatever. She and dad had moved away in 1989, so her current house was not the house(s) I grew up in.

I was suddenly only 12-years old. I didn’t know how to cook, clean, do laundry . Luckily, I could drive. Sis had lost her driver’s license, and mom could not miss getting her weekly Lotto tickets at the liquor store. If not for that, we would live off of what Safeway delivered.

I also got crap from sis because when I did the dishes I didn’t always put them away in the right place. What the heck had happened to her? Sis was wound tighter than a slinky. She seemed angry and depressed all the time, which wasn’t new, but she didn’t even try to hide it anymore. Was living with mom for 2 years the reason?

After the first few months, I began to feel the strain of a care-giver. After my arrival, sis could let her hair down and relax. She ‘relaxed’ way too much, and now I was taking care of both of them.

I missed my house and my hubby! I missed sleeping in a real bed. Both bedrooms were occupied, so it was the couch for me. My clothing and items I brought with me were stored behind said couch. I did not have the guts to rearrange mom’s bedroom to accommodate my things. Or start packing up things in the house. How rude would that be?

We were all perfectly aware that her condition was terminal. Her ‘arrangements’ were all taken care of.  Mom went over the instructions on how she wanted us to handle everything. Like which of her grandchildren got what. I was surprised to learn she owned a Krugerrand. It belongs to her youngest great-grandchild now.

I think my fondest memories are the times sis and I climbed into mom’s fancy Sleep Number bed and got a massage while watching our (taped daily) soaps. Mom and sis even had ‘rules’ about soap watching time, like get your soda, pillow, knitting & whatever,  and go potty before we start, because we fast-forward through ads and we don’t like to pause and wait for anybody.

All-righty then.  I had stopped watching our soaps years ago. Then they sucked me back in! I couldn’t tell you what was going on in the soaps, but thinking about all of us crammed into mom’s bed talking, bitching, and laughing at the stupidity going on, remains imprinted in my heart.

Mom now watched (and somehow sis got recruited into watching)  Japanese soap operas, of all things. I kept my mouth shut about it – I have my own eccentricities. Like blogging. I have to admit that although the constant yelling in Japanese gave me a headache, they were entertaining to watch. Even the subtitles were funny.

I have never regretted spending my mom’s last months, living as a kid under her roof. I don’t think it was easy on any one of us, but I am so glad we could all be a family again – at least for a little while.

I Have The Power (Sorry, He-Man…)

DP: You have the power to enact a single law. What would it be?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Evil Poster

I hear it said all the time: “There’s no law against the ignorant”. Well, now there is – sort of.

The Law:  ALL parents must have a license to raise children. **

Mandatory Requirements for License:

  • Well-rounded Common Sense
  • Approval from interviews with State Officials and licensed parents.
  • Also interviewed: Parents, Grandparents, siblings, neighbors of applicant(s)
  • Applicant(s) must pass a Comprehensive Parent Training Course
  • Applicant(s) must pass a State Test based on Parent Training, General Knowledge.
  • Applicant(s) must test negative on ALL random drug tests.

The Health and Child Welfare Departments, will oversee State Testing and will also conduct personal interviews of each applicant.

Each State may add requirements, but shall NOT alter any of the mandatory requirements.

This is a Zero Tolerance law.

In the case of parents who already have children – they are interviewed by a Child Protective Service Representative AND a Board Certified Psychologist. Then, if accepted, they need to obtain a license After The Fact (ATF)

In the case of an accidental, or unwanted, pregnancy – the parents have 2 options. Give the baby up for adoption to licensed parents – OR – complete the requirements for licensing before the baby is born.

In the case of a divorce and parent establishes a new relationship, this person must obtain, or already have, a license.

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** It is unfortunate that such a law has to be written and enforced because of the alarming rate of abuse from a child’s own family. This law was pushed through the House and the Senate to protect the innocent children in our country.

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For More Information:

Child Abuse Statistics

Sexual Abuse of Children Statistics

8-year old Boy Tortured, Abused and Murdered

Woman gets 10-year sentence for killing her 6-month old

Man Sentenced to Life For Killing 2-year old

Family Members Convicted for Child Abuse  (The child’s Grandma even abused her – now that is sick.)
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photo credit: live w mcs via photopin cc