You CAN Go Home Again (But You Won’t Like It)

Writing 101: Day 13
Part II of  “Loss Squared

It doesn’t matter how old you are – your mom is your mom and she will treat you like a little kid who knows nothing. Especially when you are living under her roof again.

I was 54-years young when I moved in with mom to help sis take care of her. Mom could not get over how I forgot where the glasses were kept. Or the cooking utensils, pots, linens – whatever. She and dad had moved away in 1989, so her current house was not the house(s) I grew up in.

I was suddenly only 12-years old. I didn’t know how to cook, clean, do laundry . Luckily, I could drive. Sis had lost her driver’s license, and mom could not miss getting her weekly Lotto tickets at the liquor store. If not for that, we would live off of what Safeway delivered.

I also got crap from sis because when I did the dishes I didn’t always put them away in the right place. What the heck had happened to her? Sis was wound tighter than a slinky. She seemed angry and depressed all the time, which wasn’t new, but she didn’t even try to hide it anymore. Was living with mom for 2 years the reason?

After the first few months, I began to feel the strain of a care-giver. After my arrival, sis could let her hair down and relax. She ‘relaxed’ way too much, and now I was taking care of both of them.

I missed my house and my hubby! I missed sleeping in a real bed. Both bedrooms were occupied, so it was the couch for me. My clothing and items I brought with me were stored behind said couch. I did not have the guts to rearrange mom’s bedroom to accommodate my things. Or start packing up things in the house. How rude would that be?

We were all perfectly aware that her condition was terminal. Her ‘arrangements’ were all taken care of.  Mom went over the instructions on how she wanted us to handle everything. Like which of her grandchildren got what. I was surprised to learn she owned a Krugerrand. It belongs to her youngest great-grandchild now.

I think my fondest memories are the times sis and I climbed into mom’s fancy Sleep Number bed and got a massage while watching our (taped daily) soaps. Mom and sis even had ‘rules’ about soap watching time, like get your soda, pillow, knitting & whatever,  and go potty before we start, because we fast-forward through ads and we don’t like to pause and wait for anybody.

All-righty then.  I had stopped watching our soaps years ago. Then they sucked me back in! I couldn’t tell you what was going on in the soaps, but thinking about all of us crammed into mom’s bed talking, bitching, and laughing at the stupidity going on, remains imprinted in my heart.

Mom now watched (and somehow sis got recruited into watching)  Japanese soap operas, of all things. I kept my mouth shut about it – I have my own eccentricities. Like blogging. I have to admit that although the constant yelling in Japanese gave me a headache, they were entertaining to watch. Even the subtitles were funny.

I have never regretted spending my mom’s last months, living as a kid under her roof. I don’t think it was easy on any one of us, but I am so glad we could all be a family again – at least for a little while.

I Have The Power (Sorry, He-Man…)

DP: You have the power to enact a single law. What would it be?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Evil Poster

I hear it said all the time: “There’s no law against the ignorant”. Well, now there is – sort of.

The Law:  ALL parents must have a license to raise children. **

Mandatory Requirements for License:

  • Well-rounded Common Sense
  • Approval from interviews with State Officials and licensed parents.
  • Also interviewed: Parents, Grandparents, siblings, neighbors of applicant(s)
  • Applicant(s) must pass a Comprehensive Parent Training Course
  • Applicant(s) must pass a State Test based on Parent Training, General Knowledge.
  • Applicant(s) must test negative on ALL random drug tests.

The Health and Child Welfare Departments, will oversee State Testing and will also conduct personal interviews of each applicant.

Each State may add requirements, but shall NOT alter any of the mandatory requirements.

This is a Zero Tolerance law.

In the case of parents who already have children – they are interviewed by a Child Protective Service Representative AND a Board Certified Psychologist. Then, if accepted, they need to obtain a license After The Fact (ATF)

In the case of an accidental, or unwanted, pregnancy – the parents have 2 options. Give the baby up for adoption to licensed parents – OR – complete the requirements for licensing before the baby is born.

In the case of a divorce and parent establishes a new relationship, this person must obtain, or already have, a license.


** It is unfortunate that such a law has to be written and enforced because of the alarming rate of abuse from a child’s own family. This law was pushed through the House and the Senate to protect the innocent children in our country.


For More Information:

Child Abuse Statistics

Sexual Abuse of Children Statistics

8-year old Boy Tortured, Abused and Murdered

Woman gets 10-year sentence for killing her 6-month old

Man Sentenced to Life For Killing 2-year old

Family Members Convicted for Child Abuse  (The child’s Grandma even abused her – now that is sick.)
photo credit: live w mcs via photopin cc

Next Year’s Christmas Present (to myself)


While I was creating the traditional Christmas Feast this week, I thought about many things, especially the following three:

Number one: This is a lot of  f*#$@!! work.

Number two: I am tired of doing all this  f*#$@!!  work.

Number three: Why do I keep doing this every  f*#$@!!  year?

The matriarch of the family is stuck with responsible for all that is Christmas. She is expected to feed everyone, on every major holiday. I loved cooking all day and watching my family play games and have fun with each other. I am so over that now.     

This matriarch wants to play, have fun, and relax for a change. Sit in a cushy chair knitting, while listening to the stories her children tell each other about their lives. Take a nap for an hour when the younger set does (i.e., while everything is quiet).

Two of our three children have not invited us over for holiday festivities. Ever. I imagine it never occurred to them to do so, since they have not invited us over – period.  Wait – I take that back.  They did host a family BBQ once in the summer of 2009.  They did a fabulous job too.  I know that they could out-do my Turkey Loco recipe, which, BTW,  uses a grill, where real men cook.

Don’t tell anyone, but I think I’m wearing out. I just can’t do it anymore.  I hate that I’m weaker physically now, and have “chronic conditions” requiring a plethora of prescriptions and doctor appointments. I’m way too young to be this OLD!

So, dear kids…  Consider this your advanced notice: I’m going to take the year 2013 off.

Feel free to use our kitchen/BBQ, but Thanksgiving and Christmas feasting (traditional or not) will have to be coordinated and prepared by anyone but me.

If a feast does not get coordinated, do not expect me, in the eleventh hour, to whip one together.

Just saying.  😉