Why Can’t I Stop Eating?

June 15th, 2011: Day 27

Dear Diary,

I lost the crown on my upper-right molar while eating a chocolate candy. Don’t tell my dentist, but it was a chewy candy and it must have pulled the crown off. Sigh… This makes the 8th time this year that I am carrying around a baggie in my purse. With part of a tooth in it.

I’m pretty sure the molar in question is my sweet-tooth. Now released from its gold prison the silly tooth is ready to party. I gained 3 pounds just this afternoon! Would my dentist consider this an emergency,  like I do?  Doubtful.  He cares about my dental health, not how much I weigh.

I booked an appointment  this Friday, 2 whole days. Then Doc can cover the damned tooth and I can get on with my life.

By my calculations I will weigh 10 more pounds than I do today. Please do not tell me “have some willpower for Pete’s sake”, or some other meaningful advice.

Addiction overrules Willpower, Don’t cha know?

Withdrawal is My Excuse

Addiction Poster

June 12th, 2011: Day 24

For the past 24 days I have had a scapegoat to blame all my difficulties, mistakes, sins, dumb ideas, and evil thoughts on. Best of all – it probably is the cause of  those things, to some degree, so I’m not lying .

According to the The American Heritage® Medical Dictionary, the definition of a withdrawal symptom is:

withdrawal symptom:  Any of a group of physical and psychological symptoms occurring in an individual deprived of an accustomed dose of an addicting agent.

Read the definition again.

Get it?  ANY!

This is a huge relief to me especially since the weirdest things have been happening to my mind and body. Like sudden onset dementia- I could not remember my best friends name yesterday which was a bit embarrassing because I was introducing her to someone at the time.

Having an excuse for them is OK. But what I really wanted to know is when are they going to stop?  So, I started going to medical websites to research this topic and I discovered a couple things.

The Mayo Clinic told me:

Just 20 minutes after your last cigarette, your heart rate goes down. Twelve hours later, levels of carbon monoxide, a toxic gas, in your blood return to normal. Your lung function improves and your circulation starts to get better within three months.

Cool. My body has already started healing from all those years of abuse. I hope it can forgive me.

The Kaiser Permanente told me:

The withdrawal symptoms are worst during the first week or so, but they may last a few weeks. For some people, the first couple of months can be hard.

Since mine are lasting over 3-weeks, I must be one of  “some people”. Looks like I’m going to need an excuse for myself a bit longer…

Things They Don’t Tell You About Quitting Smoking

    

June 11th, 2011: Day 23

Just mention that you’re thinking about quitting smoking and you are bombarded with information. My HMO has many pamphlets, seminars, classes and group therapy at my disposal.  However, they don’t cover everything. I don’t know if it’s oversight or their way of protecting you.

Regardless, these are a few of the little things that I have discovered along the way…

  1. When you remove yesterdays  nicotine patch, in its place there is a red-ish square outlined by dirty glue. This makes it easy to follow the instructions “place next patch in a different area on your skin”. In fact, you will not put a patch back on that area for a week because the glue outline remains there after daily showers and soap. Only Mary Kay Sugar Scrub and exfoliating gloves will get this crap off.
  2. The first week you are full of energy, so get as much done as you possibly can. Weeks 2 and 3 you are exhausted and too mentally unbalanced to get anything done.
  3. Do not expect people to notice you. Do not take this personally.  Not smoking is very much on your mind, but  no one else is thinking about it.
  4. Avoid airports. As you wait in the security line and then at the gate 1.5 hours before your flight, you will hear it at least 27 times. “Blah blah blah…There is no smoking inside the terminal… blah blah blah”. Thank you so much for reminding me I can’t smoke. Over and over and over. It’s torture.

That’s all I can think of now. There are more things I’ve learned, but the forgetfulness has kidnapped my brain again.

TTFN…