Never Choke in a Restaurant in the South!



Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich,  begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says,
‘Kin ya swallar?’

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, ‘Kin ya breathe?’

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, ‘Ya know, I’d heerd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I ain’t niver seed nobody do it!’

Now, that’s funny!

Story courtesy of Aunt Carmen 😉

More Best Words

word-cubes

My sis and I remembered some more of our families hillbilly words and wanted to do a sequel to my Feb 15th post

hootenanny: hooten·anny (ho̵̅o̅t′’n an′ē). noun pl. hootenannies. A meeting of folk singers, as for public entertainment.

curmudgeon: (kər mujən). noun. a surly, ill-mannered, bad-tempered person; cantankerous fellow

tarnation: (tär nās̸hən). noun. It is prevalent among hillbillies to say euphemisms to show anger, such as “tarnation.” It’s a word that’s a substitute for one such as “damnation”. Other examples of euphemisms in hillbilly slang to avoid cursing are “gol durn it” and “dag nab it.”

lollygag: (lälē gag′). verb. to waste time in trifling or aimless activity; fool around

heebie-jeebies: ( hēbē jēbēz). noun. A feeling of uneasiness or nervousness; the jitters.