Tag: Humor

The Spring Cometh..

~ JodiLea

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DaisyThis morning was perfect. Warm, no cold breezes, and clear blue skies. I doubled the length of my usual walk (1 lap around the block) before I realized it. So I walked a third lap because I was having such a good time, and I wanted to finish the song playing on my iPod.

Just an hour’s dose of spring and I am compelled to vacuum out my laptop and sterilize the keyboard and mouse. While doing this I vow to never, ever eat while working again. I may even keep that vow for a couple of weeks this time.  It was so gross!

After my little electronic world was clean I moved on to the bathroom sink. I was going to get rid of the clog from Hell today. Two major applications of drain cleaning chemicals later, we can now achieve hot water before the sink fills up. Mission accomplished!

Between fighting crumbs and clogs I did laundry. I started boxing up clothes I didn’t think I would wear in the next 2 weeks.  And organize my suitcase. My suitcase looks lived in (and it has been for the past 9 months), and hiding behind the couch were more clothes. Some of them tossed towards the dirty laundry pile, and others folded up and neglected because of weather. Mom will be proud – I finally cleaned my room!

Then I took a 2-hour nap. It was fabulous. I will miss nap time when I have to work in my real office again. The fever will really get bad when I move back home. The weeds I pulled in January will have grown back even bigger than before and I will sit at my PC, looking out my office window, wishing I was in my yard pulling them.

Oh crap.  I know what is wrong with me. I have Spring Fever.  It used to take at least a few days of springy weather to catch it. Now in a matter of hours it chases me down and infects me.

No antibiotics will cure The Fever. I must let it run its course and accept the fact that my persona with OCD-like seriousness about cleanliness and organizing stuff will be in charge for a while.

I need to warn my family.

Best Road Trip

~ JodiLea

I-5I have always loved road trips. Maybe not the entire trip there and back (when ‘there’ was far, far away). Starting out on a road trip is always exciting, which is good because the scenery is boring. Every road trip begins from the same place – home.

Anywhere you go from Livermore you usually get on Interstate 5. At least for part of the way. Your scenic view consists of black top rolling through brown, sunburned hills. Oh, there is the occasional dairy farm, that you smell long before you see a cow. And ugly oak trees called “scrub oaks”. This scenery is monotonous to me, but maybe it would be interesting to someone traveling from, let’s say, Arkansas.

My favorite road trip (lately) was in 2007. My daughter, granddaughter and I packed up my Honda and set out for Laguna Niguel to spend Mother’s Day with my mom. Our husbands were not invited (they were not upset about that at all). We probably packed enough snacks to feed us for a week if we got stranded in a snowstorm. Which does not happen when you drive through the desert in May. But then, with my sense of direction, we could have ended up in Canada.

The just-us-girls aspect of the trip was enough to make it special. This was also an historic trip because I was driving. Yes, she who gets lost in her own backyard, was driving. I felt so grown up!

The GPS unit I got for Christmas had several different voices to choose from. We decided to use a man’s voice that had a slight Jamaican accent. We wanted a cute, fun voice to come along with us. Oh, he was fun. My granddaughter named him “Sebastian”, after the character in The Little Mermaid.

We had not even turned off my street before he yelled at us. “TURN DE CAR AROUND!!” Sebastian wanted us to take the long way to the freeway. We ignored him. After sulking a few seconds, he recalculated the route and we were on our way.

Sebastian began to grate on our nerves after the first 100 miles. His tone was getting more panicked and loud as the trip progressed. “STAY IN THE RIGHT LANE!” “LEFT TURN AHEAD!” He screamed out directions sounding so damned urgent I would turn at the next turn, which was not yet the correct turn. Causing more screaming.  I must admit that we all thought “TURN DE CAR AROUND!” was funny the first 8 times we heard it.

I have to give Sebastian his due, we made it through L.A. and found my mom’s house.  However, when our visit was over, “Tim” guided us back home with his smooth and easy-going British voice.

I Can’t Say No

~ JodiLea

I am tempted by many, many things. Things as diverse as items for sale at a flea market. I won’t go into them now because I can say “no” to them without much difficulty.

Popcorn, however, is a different matter.

PopcornI can’t get enough of it. One little microwave bag can hold me for a while, when I’m desperate, but this girl needs the mega bucket at the movies. If at home, I sweet talk hubby into making the “good stuff” using a beat-up old pan, on the stove, popping a huge batch of white popcorn in butter flavored Crisco. Salted well, of course. He has perfected this skill. No doubt because of constant practice.

Popcorn

My favorite son-in-law uses a large old-fashioned popcorn machine to make a large bin of movie-style popcorn right there in the family room. He, my daughter, and granddaughter also love popcorn. So why do they make fun of me? It’s healthier for me than potato chips or sweets. So what if I want it every night for dessert? And every day packed in my briefcase to take to work and eat with my lunch?

Popcorn Go ahead and jest. Just pass the popcorn!