A Pinch Of This, and A Pinch Of That…

July 25, 2013 ~ JodiLea

Weekly Writing Challenge: A Pinch of You. This week, we want a window into the complexity that is you. We want your best recipes. We want the recipe for all the bits and pieces and quirks and foibles and loves that make you you…

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Recipe for Jodi Lea

Beat together until fluffy:

1 cup humor

1/4 cup stubbornness, coarsely chopped

1 cup tolerance

1/2 cup trusting

3/4 cup enthusiasm

1/2 cup imagination

1 cup addiction

1 cup faith

1/4 cup anxiety/depression mix

1/4 cup impatience

2 Tablespoons anger

1/2 Tablespoon resentment

1 cup Splenda®

Large bag of Movie Popcorn

Seasonings- beat well in small bowl before adding to above mixture:

2 squirts Holy water

2 teaspoons Princess

1 teaspoon Bitch

Two heaping Tablespoons of naughty

Instructions:

Spread into a non-stick baking pan that has a tightly sealed lid.

Take to FedEx and ship to a beach in the Caribbean.

This is much better when baked the solar way, which could take a few weeks 😉

When Romance Takes Over

July 21, 2013 ~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

It, my book, started out fine. Things were flowing according to my master Cherubs outline and I kept writing and writing. Then my main characters start falling in love. Dammit! Romance always gets me off topic, ignoring the Big Picture.

This happens in ~~almost~~ all of my fiction. Both novels and short stories. When I was a kid (I started writing when I was in grade-school), I wrote what I called ‘corny’ stories. Oh Lord, were they ever mushy girl stuff! Very fun to write, but the only person interested in reading them was me and my BFF who also loved to write mushy, corny stories that I enjoyed reading.

My mom would nag us to go outside and play. She thought we were very strange little girls who wanted to sit indoors at the kitchen table and write, when it was summer break and we were in sunny California.

Writing good love scenes requires imagination and a sense of fun. The amount of boyfriends or experience you’ve acquired, won’t help you write romance better. Unless you are going for the hot steamy details.

BFF and I were 11-year old girls, yet our love scenes were very tender and romantic. We didn’t need pornish* details. We were only interested in the romance. As we wrote about their first touch or their first kiss, we played out the scene in our heads, trying to feel what they were feeling.

Although we spent most of our time plotting romance, these stories were not “Romances” in the Harlequin sense. They were mysteries, thrillers, history and comedy all rolled up in one story or in separate stories.

When I return to work on my current book I should put the romance on the back burner and keep up with my research and the main story line. To stay on track with this project. I really, really want to do that!

Then again, I need a lot of romance in my life to stay happy. 😉

*Pornish [poor-nish]; adverb. When something has too much erotic detail.
– taken from the “Words That Should Exist Dictionary“

What The NFL Won’t Tell You About Football

July 19, 2013 ~ JodiLea ~ 2 Comments

If you are a follower of Not Pretending (to be sane), you know about my ~~obsession~~ love for football, and the SF 49ers. During the season I often post about the players, the games, etc. Sometimes these posts are rantings about what pissed me off during the latest game. There’s always at least one thing…

You aren’t into football… (what!!?), don’t worry. There is a lot of entertainment during a game that you can enjoy without knowing a thing about downs, off-sides, or shotguns. I will point out some of these little known ‘perks’, and urge those who don’t like football, to sit down and actually watch a game. You may enjoy it ;-). Better yet, you may even find a ‘perk’ not listed here – if you do, please put it in a comment OR submit a form from the Etc. page! I would love to add it to my list.

Perks Not Recognized by the NFL:

There’s dancing. If you don’t believe me, check this out
The tantrums. A coach can out-tantrum any 3-year old. They foam at the mouth when things are really going badly. I agree that its immature behavior – that being said, it is so damned funny!
Sports announcers* having to take back what they just said. (i.e. they predict what the player will do and then the player doesn’t do it). I LOVE it when this happens! They think they know everything about football. Even what the players and coaches are thinking.
Trick Plays. My favorite was the field-goal that morphed into a touchdown.
Fisticuffs. There are a lot more of these skirmishes between players nowadays. If you like boxing or hockey, you might find these amusing.
Muscular butts in tight pants or not. I can’t decide if ESPN’s photo-shoots of naked athletes is tacky or awesome. Why didn’t they do this in the 80’s when Steve Young was so hot? Sigh…

* The commentators/announcers often get on a “theme” about a certain player (on the non-49er team). If you are sick, sick, sick of that player’s name, or worse, their dumb nick-name – the ‘mute’ button on your remote will take care of this issue.

Go 49er’s!!