Tag: Humor

Humor is everywhere – open your eyes!

Weekly Photo Challenge: The Sign Says

~ JodiLea ~ 1 Comment

MenThinking

This sign was SO true of me. I spent years trying to figure out what my dates/boyfriends/crushes/husband was thinking. Did they love me? Were they mad at me? Did they think I needed to lose weight? Did they wish I was like so-and-so? Arrrgggh!

Hubby finally explained to me that men did not think about their relationships. They thought about “real” stuff. Like guns, trucks, tools and things they watched on Cops. They counted on women to tell them what they do or don’t like. It doesn’t even occur to them to worry about it. Men are content as long as we aren’t complaining. Then he gave me an example.

“You know how you always ask me how you should get your hair done?” he asked.

“Yeah. You never give me your opinion – you just say ‘however you want, dear’.”

“That’s because my answer would hurt your feelings.”

“Why?”

“Because I honestly don’t give a rat’s ass how you wear your hair – I want YOU to be happy with it so I don’t have to listen to cussing and whining.”

“What do you mean?”

Hubby then put his hands on his hips and made his voice high-pitched and prissy,  he rolled his eyes, exclaiming – “Oh DAMMIT, stupid hair”. Then he made a pouty face (that was kinda cute) and stomped his foot and yelled – “I HATE my hair!”

I have to admit that his mimicry was spot on.

Next time you gals start ‘worrying’ about what your man is thinking, just stop yourself. Chances are – he’s not.

Hanes Announces New Line Of Athletic Socks

~ JodiLea

HanesLogo

Hanes®, the leader in sock sales in the United States, will be competing with Nike and Reebok for a place among the manufacturers of wardrobe for professional athletes.

“We’re very excited here at Hanes,” said Richard Noll, Hanes CEO. “Our new product has been tested with athletes in every sport that requires the wearing of socks. They will NOT fall down.

He went on to explain about Hanes’ new elasticizing method that keeps socks up better than the current athletic socks. Not only that, but inside the socks are woven fibers that support an athletes feet, like a women’s support hose would do. His praise made this reporter want to run out and buy some.

“It’s only a formality now,” said Mr. Noll. “Every team will want these superb socks.” “We (Hanes) plan to ship a case of them to the 49ers running back, Frank Gore, who was fined by the NFL during the NFC Championship game because one of his socks had fallen down.”

That fine, inspired a research scientist (and big-time fan of the San Francisco 49ers) at  Hanes to create a non-falling sock. Because apparently, you aren’t properly dressed if your socks are down. The debut of the new socks is on-hold pending NFL approval.

Seriously – would you mess with this guy?  FrankGore

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This could be News, but it isn’t right now.

When Dinner Looks Back At You

~ JodiLea

This afternoon I got into a rare domestic mood and cleaned! Then, as if that wasn’t enough, I decided to actually cook something.

I had a huge chicken breast in the fridge and red potatoes in my pantry. I even had vegetables for a great salad. Hubby will be pleasantly surprised.

First thing, I needed to chop the breast into four pieces (that’s how large the thing was!). Then I got out .the Jamaican Rub I bought in town at the flea market.   I rubbed olive oil into the chicken then rubbed the rub in. I wrapped them up to marinate. I was feeling pretty proud of myself for getting a head-start on dinner instead of my usual M.O. of late – to whip up any old thing I had around.

Next, I got the 5-lb bag of potatoes from the pantry. Funny, but I bought them two weeks ago, and there were already “eyes” peeking out from the air-holes in the plastic bag. When I let the potatoes roll out of the bag and into the sink, I screamed and jumped back. I know I will have nightmares about all those hideous evil eyes looking up at me in a sinister way. I should have chucked them all and made rice, but those who know me understand how stubborn I am. Besides I wanted roasted potatoes cooked on the grill, so maybe I could sit and relax for just a few minutes. It never happens, but as an optimist I keep planning it.

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Every single potato had large bulging eyes, and on top of those, more bulging eyes. There were so many eyes the potatoes looked like they had spiny flowers growing out of them. The flowers were greenish-red and hairy, but I knew it wasn’t hair. I could not bring myself to touch them.

I stood there at the sink , staring back at my dinner, debating whether I should wash them first, or start hacking out eyes. I washed them first, after all they were already in the sink.

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HackingEyes

Then with my trusty chopping knife and a potato peeler, I managed to find 5 potatoes that had more potato than eyes. After cubing them and mixing with butter and garlic salt, I double-wrapped them in foil. I cleaned the hacked up remains from the counters and handed the plate of chicken and the foil-wrapped potatoes to hubby to BBQ.

I’m sure that hubby enjoyed eating those potatoes, way more than I did. A true case of “Ignorance is Bliss”.

Moral of this story? Do not buy potatoes in bags. Pick potatoes one at a time.  😉