Looking back on when I first began blogging (2010), I learned that out of all my humorous posts, the ones people liked the most were the ones where I was ranting about something that was, or had occurred, that ticked me off, OR actually happened to me.
I have been neglecting this blog, and I am truly sorry. My time is being spent on more pressing matters. Like running the local quilt guild (the silly members nominated me for President) and learning the Mary Kay business. I am distracted in every task I do by another task that also MUST get done.
Please, faithful readers, hang in with me. I will be re-running my favorite (and ancient) posts this summer. Who knows? My muse could slap me upside the head and I think of something new. Don’t hold your breath for this to happen – but it could.
Things NOT on my Bucket List
Ever since that movie came out, my friends have been thinking about what they would put on their lists. No one is actually writing these lists down on paper. At least not admitting they are, because after all, we are way too young to be thinking about that.
I have no clue what will be on my list. I do know, however, what will NOT be.
Bicycling down Haleakala (Maui)
Have you seen this? If you think it looks scary while you watch it on Nat Geo, try being on the same road. There is only one road. It goes up the volcano. It goes down the volcano. The grade is about 5%. You coast from 10,028 ft to sea level in 38 miles. Seems simple. No peddling. Ha! A steep road is only half of the problem. A twisted, two-lane road makes the trip horrifying. And I was in a car.
“The view is breathtaking!” everyone tells you.
I would not see them because all my focus would be on not crashing my bike into the 300 other tourists also biking down the volcano, being hit by one of the (sane) people driving their car, or coasting right off a cliff.
No Thank You.
.
BUNGEE JUMPING OFF THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE
This is just wrong!
Aside from being dangerous, this jump was probably illegal.
Considering it is at night and there is just the couple present .
Hey, maybe he pushed her off the bridge and this is a homicide.
If you ever see me in this position – call the police!
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Running with the Bulls
Don’t kid yourself.
Only the bulls are running with each other. People are running FROM the Bulls.
Do these guys look like they are having fun? Even I am saner than this.
.
Climb Mount Everest (or Kilimanjaro, or Fuji, etc.)
Just “because it is there”, are you kidding me? Many things are “there” and I am not one bit tempted to climb them. That reason to climb a mountain is ridiculous!
The only climbing I want to do is the stairs – when I have to, in order to be where I want to be. Like my daughter’s house. The 2nd story of the mall. My doctor’s office. That kind of climbing.
NOT this…
My 15-minutes of fame
For me, any recognition from the media would be embarrassing or damaging to my self-esteem. People who knew me would not be awed or jealous of my fame.
They would roll their eyes and say, “That’s Jodi, alright!”
So, who needs that?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Do you even like football?
Considering that you two bozos are firing, letting go, or not keeping key players on board. 49er greats like Gore and Iupati are moving on to other teams. Wait, WHAT!?! FRANK GORE!? is no longer a 49er? He signed up with Indianapolis this week. Apparently, you did NOT do everything you could to keep him. LIARS!
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