When Dinner Looks Back At You

This afternoon I got into a rare domestic mood and cleaned! Then, as if that wasn’t enough, I decided to actually cook something.

I had a huge chicken breast in the fridge and red potatoes in my pantry. I even had vegetables for a great salad. Hubby will be pleasantly surprised.

First thing, I needed to chop the breast into four pieces (that’s how large the thing was!). Then I got out .the Jamaican Rub I bought in town at the flea market.   I rubbed olive oil into the chicken then rubbed the rub in. I wrapped them up to marinate. I was feeling pretty proud of myself for getting a head-start on dinner instead of my usual M.O. of late – to whip up any old thing I had around.

Next, I got the 5-lb bag of potatoes from the pantry. Funny, but I bought them two weeks ago, and there were already “eyes” peeking out from the air-holes in the plastic bag. When I let the potatoes roll out of the bag and into the sink, I screamed and jumped back. I know I will have nightmares about all those hideous evil eyes looking up at me in a sinister way. I should have chucked them all and made rice, but those who know me understand how stubborn I am. Besides I wanted roasted potatoes cooked on the grill, so maybe I could sit and relax for just a few minutes. It never happens, but as an optimist I keep planning it.


Every single potato had large bulging eyes, and on top of those, more bulging eyes. There were so many eyes the potatoes looked like they had spiny flowers growing out of them. The flowers were greenish-red and hairy, but I knew it wasn’t hair. I could not bring myself to touch them.

I stood there at the sink , staring back at my dinner, debating whether I should wash them first, or start hacking out eyes. I washed them first, after all they were already in the sink.




Then with my trusty chopping knife and a potato peeler, I managed to find 5 potatoes that had more potato than eyes. After cubing them and mixing with butter and garlic salt, I double-wrapped them in foil. I cleaned the hacked up remains from the counters and handed the plate of chicken and the foil-wrapped potatoes to hubby to BBQ.

I’m sure that hubby enjoyed eating those potatoes, way more than I did. A true case of “Ignorance is Bliss”.

Moral of this story? Do not buy potatoes in bags. Pick potatoes one at a time.  😉

Call a Whaaa…mbulance!

Coach Harbaugh
Photo courtesy of 49ers.com

Gee, wasn’t that fun? Coach Harbaugh isn’t having any fun looking at the score board. The second half I started fast-forwarding through the re-plays, because the first time was painful enough. (I pause the live game about 1/2 hour so I can zip through the commercials that pop up every 2-3 plays.)

I think I may have pushed the “Mute” button more than the “>>” button during the game tonight. The network had to show each play over again, so the commentators could keep pontificating about they just saw. Don’t they realize we are watching the same game??

And who had the bright idea to schedule the 49ers first game in New Orleans? Some NFL executive with a grudge? The sad thing is that the team played well. As well as you can play during a major ass-kicking, that is. Alex Smith is probably used to it, but poor Colin Kaepernick! What an eye-opening night it was for him I bet.

I mourned the loss of Joe Nedney. You know I have a soft spot for kickers. That and Joe was often the only one to put points on the board. But tonight I fell in love with our new kicker, David Akers. Who happened to be the only 49er to put points on the board. Hmmm… I sense a pattern  here. Or maybe a curse.

Is it me or do we only have 2 offensive linemen? There were at least 5 Saints getting past the two of them. And sacking is too delicate of a word to describe what happened to our QB’s.

I just know I’m going to have nightmares tonight.


The Smallest Thing

Magnifying GlassWhat is the smallest thing near me? To my naked eye, the smallest thing is the speck on my mouse pad. It could be a piece of cashew, a grain of course sea salt, or a crumb from the finger foods I eat while I write: cereal, chips, granola, and popcorn. I try to be neat, but crumbs happen. Just ask my keyboard.

In order to truly know the composition of this speck, I would have to lick my finger, place it on the speck and extract it from the mouse pad, then put it on my tongue.  I’m not above doing this, but I like to recognize what it is, if I do. When the uninvited speck gets in the way of my mousing, I will shoo it off with the back of my hand to the floor. No biggie.

What I don’t like to think about are the small things that my naked eye can’t see. Germs. Bedbugs. Dust mites. I certainly do not want to see these things under a microscope! I saw a glimpse of a Science Channel discussion on dust mites once, and they showed close-ups of mites at 100x magnification. I had nightmares for a week.

I almost put a photo of this monster on my blog to show you what I mean. I came to my senses just in time! If you were blessed and had never seen this, who am I to be the one to give you nightmares?  I don’t need any either.

Some things are just better left alone. And sometimes, ignorance is bliss.