Tag: oscars
Oscar Madness
This weekend, I have guests here for the Oscar Festivities. I am not ready. HA! Pardon the understatement. I suppose I assumed the official night would be later in March. I was shocked to find out they are this weekend. The Big Event was always the week of my daughter’s B-day – the 25th. How dare they move it up without my consent. Arggh!
Typically, I have a big “To-Do” planned. I’m talking about sending fancy invitations through the post office, stamps and all. It is a formal affair at a mountain resort, where guests are pampered and granted (nearly) every wish they make. The hostess (me) is busy with food, fashion, and spa appointments. Guests have a dress code: “What would you wear to the Oscars if you were there in person?”
I am often asked, “Why do you make your guests dress up?”
The simple answer is to promote the Oscar “feeling.” The truth is that we have more fun dissing the fashions of the attending audience if we are superiorly dressed. The Red Carpet is how our reverence for the Oscars began. My daughter and I had gone through a super lousy patch that year, and she was at home for a visit when the Oscar pre-show began. I don’t remember the year, nominations, or winners. We do remember the so-called elite fashion we saw walking along that carpet. Not only were the outfits exceptionally hideous, but no one seemed to notice but us. Our laughter was so intense we often could not catch our breath. We thought we would suffocate when the following outfit was even worse. It was either the best joke played by the women, or they, indeed, were superior actors.
The Spa is a madhouse on Sunday morning. Even the non-rich and famous want to look their best for the Red Carpet. Yes, a Red Carpet is along the way to the viewing room, where interviews and photoshoots happen. At the 2022 Oscars, we filmed a video of our Red Carpet that ended up hysterically BAD. It was posted anyway because we wanted my hubby to discover it while cruising on YouTube the next day. He did not discover it, but quite a few others found it and gave it a thumbs up. Go figure!
Alas, this year the Spa is empty. By unanimous vote, this year, we are not glaming up. We will be laughing and commenting, wearing our comfy clothes without make-up. We will still vote on the nominations list and play Oscar Bingo.
There will be special snax, of course.
TTFN
How Do YOU Pick ‘Em?
Not the horses. 
I’m talking about Oscar winners. Is it just me, or does the Academy nominate more people for each category now? More movies were up for Best Picture this year than usual.
I used to pick the winners based on who I wanted to win, Soon it was obvious that I did not share similar tastes with the Academy.
Next I tried to be logical. I would get a copy of the nominee list and figure out the actor and actress who starred in the movie I decided had the most chance for Best Picture. This method would have worked better if I didn’t suck at picking Best Picture.
I rarely see any nominated films before the award ceremony. This could be a significant factor – or not. Who really knows how the Academy selects the winners anyway. Their decisions amaze and anger me most of the time.
Considering the ridiculous choices the Academy occasionally makes it would not surprise me to find out the Academy members rarely watch every movie in question. Each member picks out a film to watch and writes an in-depth report on it. All members then meet to compare notes at a dark, dive-quality bar, and drink whiskey until they giggle like little girls. At that point they draw straws and the loser has to take everyone’s report and make up the nominees on the fly.
The week before the ceremony, our esteemed Academy returns to the dive-bar to decide on the winners. Pieces of paper with a nominee’s name on them are taped to the dart board. The first paper to get nailed with a dart is the winner. The later it gets, the longer it takes to pick the winner using darts, because the Academy members are overly whiskeyed by this time.
If the designated record keeper forgets to record any results from the pierced paper choices, it all has to be done over. If the Academy failed to appoint a “record keeper” to begin with, they appoint the waitress with the largest breasts to keep score.
After all, this is Hollywood.
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